that long lost part of me

Sending this one to Charlotte...

peace & love

baily

Things I need to get out there...

Today is one of those days where I can't figure out what is going on inside of my head.
I have so many things that tug my thoughts in different directions.  I have burdens, desires, confusion, and a tiny place of serenity that I can sometimes calm my thoughts down to. 
But usually... my mind would look like this if it could express itself...

So I'm sorry that I have not been very regular in the blogging department.  Lots on my mind.  And don't even get my started on all the different tugs at my heart.  Which way to turn?  Hell if I know... I guess that's what I am trying to figure out while I've been a sketchy blogger friend.

I'm a little bit lonely - but I know that I am surrounded by good friends and a loving family.  But being lonely isn't being alone.  I've always known that I am not alone, but me and the feeling of lonely have become quite acquainted.  Even when I masked my loneliness with a boyfriend or special friend - I wish I would have just been honest all along and realized that it is something I am struggling with on a personal level and it was a void in my heart that no boyfriend or special friend could fill for me.  Maybe that's why I am mad at myself some days.  Because some days I think that if I would have taken the time to figure out this "voided" area in my heart I would have saved myself and others some of the pain and heartache.  But I can't go back.  I need to learn that - I can NOT go back. 

Uggghhh.... but I am struggling with so much disgust for the people that actually made me happy, safe, secure... but then just bolted when things got hard or when things (and people... especially people in his case) tried to interfere and dictate our relationship.  Why couldn't those guys just stick out the hard times?  Why'd they lie and say they understood what I was going through and they'd be there for me through it all?  Why didn't he just see that he was happiest when he wasn't letting his family control him, but he was living out his free-spiritedness with me?  There are SO MANY things that I will not understand.

I want to be free of this person, because he allowed people to throw me out and slander my name into the ground until he started to believe them.  It's not fair, I was a good person, full of the "big love" that he wanted, but he just walked out.  (And now dates a 19 year old with the most disgusting use of language on her FB wall that I couldn't even bear to look at it anymore.)

So that's been on my mind!!! Why a family thought so low of me but welcome, with open arms, a girl with such a lack of class that she uses c-words and f-words all over the place like it's normal lingo.  It bothers me and it eats me up.

BUT, I have been able to free myself of some of the burdens that his "vanishing act" laid on me.  I rid myself the "friendships" with some of the people that I thought were like family to me.  They didn't stick up for me, they threw me under the bus, and they have shown their true colors.  But at the same time, other family-friends have told me that I am a better person for not having to deal with the b.s. that these people threw at me and even though I experienced a love on a different level with this special person - I can be stronger for it, but I am even stronger by not being around the people that never gave me a chance, chose to make up their own impression of me, and tried to bring me down - constantly.

That's just ONE thing that has been on my mind.  And I said there were several so please excuse my "funk" I've been in lately as I try to sort out my life again.  It seems like everything had gotten clear, organized, and peaceful and then disruption occurred and things went extremely chaotic in my confused little brain. 

Thanks for letting me get it off my chest. I am already feeling more empowered because of it.

peace & love

baily

Destiny Unbound

I really have a lot on my mind today – good things, neutral things, but not so much bad things.  It seems that the way my life has been the past five years – full of extreme highs and extreme lows – I unfortunately know the depths of sadness and darkness that qualify as “bad.”  I don’t really have that ache, that heart-wrenching feeling of something horrible overcoming me.  Do I feel numbness in the parts of my heart where I should be feeling pain right now?  Maybe. 

I used to fear this – numbness.  I used to think, I’d rather hurt than feel nothing at all.  But right now, I am enjoying this intermission from life’s painful heartaches.  I love how there is enough JOY in my life right now to stop the stinging and lessen the trauma that a knife in the back will cause.  I’m not bleeding out, instead, I have myself under control and I’ve displayed a grace that I can respect for myself.  I’m not crying out to this person that I absolutely loved and cared for tremendously (even though a lot of times I want to), because I feel given up on by them. I didn’t deserve to be left out to dry like this, and I don’t know why all of a sudden I was.  I missed the moment when we took a U-turn and started heading South.  I’m confused and feel incredibly misled, misunderstood, and disrespected.  I miss this person terribly, but I miss the feeling of being missed and adored even more.  I wanted and needed BIG LOVE, and I found it… I was promised it… I was given it… but I guess I forgot to ask how long it would last.  

At least it is numbness and not the bellowing wails and sob-soaked pillows and empty boxes of Kleenex.  It’s not teary-eyed dates with Ben & Jerry and Carrie & the girls.  It isn’t seeking revenge or demolition.  It isn’t insomnia, not eating, or not taking care of myself.  It isn’t the usual “what am I going to do?”
 or “who is going to love me?” or “what is wrong with me?” or “how am I ever going to get through this?”  It is none of that. 

Instead, it’s me saying… “this ain’t my first rodeo!” and bucking up and doing the things that I have learned over the years – how to have my heart broken.  And this time, I’m not doing those things that I used to do.  I’m not “coping” in an irresponsible way and I’m not letting the growing number of guys out there who don’t think I am worth it convince my own mind that I am not worth it.  Because I am. 

And I will continue to try on the shoes that catch my eye until I find that damn glass slipper.

There is a glass slipper, size 6, still out there right???? Prince Charming is still on his way with it, isn’t he?  I hope someone send him the message that the bar has been raised, the standards are a little higher now – after knowing the love life I most recently knew.

I think the reason I am not handling this huge loss from my life the way that I did a break-up three years ago (that I describe as ‘what broke me’) is because I am a stronger person for knowing this individual.  I know what is possible when two hearts that are meant to be together meet for the very first time.  Love grows wildly.  I know now that a smile isn’t in perfect teeth or soft lips but in how genuine and heartfelt it is.  I learned that life is only as hard and as serious as we make it for ourselves.  I was reminded of how to live in the moment, when to take big risks, and what kind of man I want by my side.  I was brought back to life.  I was adored, loved, and appreciated. 

And then one day, it went away.  Or it was ignored.  I don’t know if it is still there, where and with whom the heart of this person is.  Oh how I hope that if it belongs to someone else already, she knows how good and wonderful and valued that heart is.  I hope she makes his eyes sparkle like I once could, and I hope they spontaneously dance to music in the kitchen and in Wal-Mart parking lots.  I hope she inspires him the way he told me I inspired him: to be the best version of himself, to want to do good, to want to settle down, to travel, to go to music festivals and concerts, to read books,  to be closer to one another’s families, to be as happy always as we were nearly everyday.  I hope he always fights for what he believes in – and even though I feel like I was given up on, I will never be convinced that he did not believe in me and in us.  He was my biggest fan and I was his, and that’s the hardest part about not having him in my life.  The love was short, but it was so real.  I’ll never forget the way he described life when we were  together, “The world and my life are just “right” and “real” now that I know you and love you, Baily.”  I could not have agreed more.

So here I am, numb.  But full of joy, too.  Because I am proud of how far I have come.  I am glad that I knew this love and that it brought me out of the darkness and made me come to life again!  I was able to experience love in a more profound way – love worth taking risks for, love worth traveling for, love worth making special accommodations for.   But now… but now I need to experience being loved enough to fight for.  Being loved enough to hold on tighter when things seem to be slowly slipping.  I need to know what it is like to be loved unconditionally – where time and distance don’t separate you but make you grow fonder. 

I guess I didn’t know how important that was.  I didn’t know how strong time and distance are.  Or, I just thought that since what we had was so perfect, pure, free from arguments and fighting, and full of love and generosity, that the whole time and distance thing wouldn’t have as large an impact on  us.  I STILL think that, but I do think that any relationship (especially one like this) takes effort from BOTH people….

and that was exactly where the problem was.  And where the pain starts…

Peace & Love

Baily

She started the ignition and without permission,

the two of them flew down the dusty road

But the road wasn't finished and the pavement diminished,

They soared off the edge and they plunged in the sludge

She said

 "THERE ISN'T EVEN ANY ROAD, OUR DESTINY WAS BOUND,

WE WERE THE ONES FOR US, BUT NOW WE'RE IN THE GROUND."

-Destiny Unbound (Phish)

Inspirational Video

http://vimeo.com/14074949
(for some reason I couldn't get it to imbed, so visit it on vimeo by clicking on the URL, thanks!)

One of the reasons our relationship is so special is because we get each other, we understand one another's need for inspiration, and we live adventurously and creatively.  That's why I found it NO SURPRISE that I was completely moved and inspired beyond measure when Clay told me I just 'had to watch this video.' 

I love watching the videos that Clay finds interesting because odds are I find them just as interesting and, like I said, they are usually really motivational. 

This clip is such a cool glimpse at one of the many beautiful things about the world of surfing - in which I've learned SO MUCH about since we started dating four months ago!  Even as a beach-loving, Florida chick I had (and still have!) a lot to learn but I've got a good teacher if you ask me! :)

There's just something about how beautiful it is, and this video captures it.  Some of the happiest days I've experienced in such a long time have been spent standing with the wind at my back, the sun in my face, and a glorious view of the ocean and a guy who loves me like no other riding the waves.  I love watching him!

I wish I had some extra special photography skills so I could cage those memories onto film for him like this...

Hope you enjoy!

peace and love

baily

querida amante

dear mr. crutchfield,

thank you for making me feel...

...so loved

 ...like a free-bird

...those butterflies in my stomach

...like I've been found

...youthful & silly

...and so so connected to you!!!

I love you.

Eres mi todo.

peace and love

'Bailygirl'

p.s. Little Miss Millie-Pig loves you too!

((all images via))

Guatemalan Worry Dolls

When Clay and I were in Charleston for Halloween weekend, we got to play 'tourist' since I was around.  Even though I've visited Charleston several times and have always loved and adored the monumental Southern city, I had never explored it's watercolored streets the way that I was able to with him.  It's sorta funny - the way that he and I do things soooo the same.  We like to take it all in, go to the little places in towns that make up the funky personality of somewhere, and we both like "stuff!" 

That's why we strolled through The Market, making sure that we could stop to visit as many vendors as possible.  What is one of the many awesome things about him is that he appreciates the artsy things that I appreciate.  I think some of our most fun times together include thumbing through vinyl at record stores and shopping for "the little things" in vintage places and market-type places, and playing soccer in our cleats we both carry around in the back of our cars for "just in case" scenarios.  I didn't know my "just in case" was going to be, 'just in case I meet my new bff who will just so happen to love me back'.  I guess that is what I have come to know as being a really important thing - the actually doing the things we both enjoy, which just so happen to be perfect matches as well.  Ding! Ding! Ding!

Anyways, as we were strolling through The Market in Charleston, Clay was drawn to a photography vendor while I mosied over to a little girly gifts and trinket type set-up.  I squealed when I found these:

Guatemalan Worry Dolls!!!!

Muñecas Quitapenas

I sort of had a "moment" when we were in The Market as I tried to explain why I was wigging out about these little mini-dolls in a Crayola marker decorated wooden box.  I'm sure I made no sense but that's when the little message in the box comes in handy.... it reads:

According to legend, Guatemalan children tell one worry to each doll when  they go to bed at night and place the dolls under their pillow. In the morning, the dolls have taken their worrying away.

And since I can sometimes let anxiety override my natural laid-backness in some situations, I bought two little boxes - one for him; one for me.  We each wrote a little love note to the the other on the back of our message inserts.  It is an automatic morning smile to wake up and see my worry dolls and words of love on my bedside table.  One thing is for sure, Clay definitely has that ability to take my worries away.  There's another very important thing to me.  Perf match again... ding! ding! ding!

The reason I had my "moment" upon my Worry Doll find was because when I was a little girl I rocked this really cool headband (imagine that!)  Haha - I am, without a doubt, the headband girl these days but I guess I have always been the type to daunt the cool hair accessories.  My sissy usually had the matching one and we would bopsie twin around town until that became just 'so uncool' of us.  This particular headband was made with Guatemalan Worry Dolls.  To be honest, when I was a little girl, I used to think the meaning of the children standing hand-in-hand next to eachother - which formed a row of dolls on my child-sized head - was something to do with "He's got the whole world in His hands, He's got the whole world in His hands..." but I guess I was wrong.  According to proper legend, those little kiddos on my head were actually supposed to be taking my worries away.  How cool!

I guess that's my story about my "little thing" I found that meant a lot.  I've always preached that those are some of the most important things in my life.  I miss them, the trinkets and little 'finds' of mine that I had laying here and there before the fire destroyed my room.  Thrifting, vintage-shopping, garage sale-hopping - all those things that told a story that were special to me.  But, one of the many important lessons that I learned throughout that fire was to not dwell in the past.  Like Forrest quoted, "Mama always said you've got to put the past behind you before you can move on." I've learned that... and that is why I can be so thrilled, so moved, and beyond grateful for the people in my life that continue to bless me with the little things that matter. 

In this case, I am singing my Thanksgiving song to Clay for the fun we always manage to muster up in the most unlikely of places, and for the worry he has stripped from my life.  I can honestly say that meeting him changed my life, but I know even moreso that the little things we do, the days spent without documentation in FB albums, and the thoughts, words, and lovenotes that we share between ourselves and only us, are what assure me that life can be a joyride and with the right person that beautiful ride can handle any storm. 

And, with a little help from our friends (the folklore 'Worry Dolls') but, more importantly, with faith - all things are possible.

peace & love

baily

To those who have given up on love, I say "trust life a little bit." -Maya Angelou

we heart music

One of my biggest beliefs is that two people can't possibly max out their love for one another without sharing a similar taste in music.  Trust me on this one, I have dated my fair share of boys and I have kissed a bunch of frogs.  At one point, I just said "screw it" and convinced myself that there was no Prince Charming for me, and if there was - he just wouldn't have my taste in music because there seemed to be no compatible music lover out there for me.  But - like most of the time, I was wrong!

One of these days I will get around to telling the entire story of my journey to finding such peace, love, and happiness with Clay, but for now I will just tell you a little bit about his good music taste - almost as good as his taste in women ;) Just kidding.

Since I had been hearing about Clay for so long from our mutual family-friends (his Godmother), I decided to "stalk" a little on FB to try to figure out who he was and learn a little more about him.  I mean, if it is on the profile then it really isn't me "stalking", right? ;) Haha

When I found his profile via a link from our shared friend's profile, I was immediately drawn to his quotes.  Always the quotes first, it's me!  I think quotes tell a lot about a person.  He had a Phish quote (one of our faaaaavorite bands).  That propelled me into thinking that he might possibly be just as cool as he was handsome in his pictures.  So, thanks to the Phish quote, I took it upon myself to introduce myself in a FB message and that's where it all began...

Then the texting. And phone calls. And the figuring out of when we were going to get to meet face-to-face.  A lot of our beginning texts and phone calls were about music, and obviously a lot about life in general.  Something huge was in the making... something wonderful... and I really can give a nod of appreciation to the music that we both love for making that come together for us.

And it has been fun, the music that sort of binds us.  Whether it be Phish, Zach Deputy, The Beatles, or Widespread Panic.  It's the sounds of reggae, string bands, and one-man bands that give us the background music we need for our many spontaneous dances we share in the living room, in a parking lot, or at a show we've traveled to go to together.  I'm very grateful for the music, and I'm very grateful for the love it found me. 

Sounds cheesy, but if you are over there rolling your eyes and unable to see the beauty I've found in these two things that came together for me, I'll be the first to say that you might want to listen to a few more jams and take to heart what they say every once in a while - because trust me, you never know what song is next on your playlist in life and if I hadn't been listening I would have missed the best song yet.

He's definitely my favorite song.  And it's a good one, almost perfectly composed.

So open up your hearts and ears to the music because usually, it's about a lot more than melody and lyric - it could be the door that opens up to the life you always wanted.

peace and love

baily

p.s. why am i so high on the music right now? because i have 7,478 items in my iTunes now.  i almost have as many songs as i did before the fire blew my computer up and plucked every torrent i owned (or pirated) away.  how??? that amazing music-loving bf i just told you about let me borrow his external hardrive and since we have the SAME love for peace & love music, well - that shoe fit too! because all of his music fit perfectly into my new beginnings iTunes files.  i am sooooooooo happy.
turn it up...

the one about south carolina and my hiatus being over

I feel like I have been hounded via Facebook, Twitter, Gmail. and Blogger on my crazy hiatus I have been on.  No need to worry, I have plenty to talk about but it seems like I never sit down and start writing like I used to. I have pretty much stayed on the go for a few weeks now. 


I went to Charleston to visit Clay for the weekend.  It was a really good time.  We got to see a couple of our favorite performers.  American Aquarium played at The Charleston Pour House on Thursday night and Zach Deputy played their on Saturday night.  When Clay and I's relationship began, we sort of had a little band crush on American Aquarium, who his older siblings had told us about.  Then, the Zach Deputy crush developed for him over the past couple of years but as I was leaving him to go back to Tuscaloosa after our first visit, he handed me a CD to listen to on the way home.  Well, actually, he handed me a couple of CDs to listen to on the drive home because they had so many songs with lyrics that sort of explained the connection we had upon our face-to-face meeting.  We had already known before our physical meet & greet that we shared a love for the same type of 'peace and love' music.  American Aquarium is a little bit more Southern Rock and Americana, but they still have some pretty fun and danceable songs that we both enjoy :) But Zach Deputy, he's pretty amazing with his "one man band" type of style.  He's even an awesome writer: check out his blog at www.zachdeputy.blog.com.  Check out his website at www.zachdeputy.com. He's pretty awesome!


American Aquarium, like I said, is a different style but I'm a frequent visitor of their website at www.americanaqurium.net. 


Zach Deputy was really cool after the show.  He gave us a couple free live recordings and I told him that he really needed to come visit Tuscaloosa, ALABAMA.  No, I didn't really say it like Forrest Gump but I wish I had.  Maybe he would have remembered me better if I did.  I sort of looked like Jenny that night though, come to think of it.  Clay & I had told ourselves we were going to dress up.  Well, I ended up leaving half of my 'Penny Lane' costume parked in a car on the other side of town and it was looking doubtful that he was really up for being too extravagant in regard to the Halloween spirit, so we just opted to throw some reg clothes on and go back to The Pour House and look at all the other people's awful, and awfully funny costumes.  Before we went, though, we turned one of my favorite bracelets made of chiffon fabric and silver and gold chains into a headband with the linking of my hair ties.  I was sort of proud of my idea, and he helped with the engineering part.  Stellar teammates! :)  But, I wore the hippie headband and jeans and boots and called it a Happy Halloween.  Especially the part about the point I was trying to make... after the show (which was so much fun - I have, by far, the best dancing partner in the world) we got a chance to talk to Zach Deputy and after I tried to convince him to come to "Titletown" - which I think is the term for Tuscaloosa I used - we gave him an Alabama coozie for giving us those free live recordings.


Baily + Clay + Zach Deputy = BFF


We walked along King Street, partied down in Chucktown, shopped at the Market where I found some AWESOME Guatemalan worry dolls that I purchased for the two of us, we ate fish that would melt in your mouth, and we drank a bucket of beers at "Reds" on a canal by a marina at Shem Creek.  We had an awesome time.  And before we left Charleston Sunday, we were able to spend a little time at Boone Hall Plantation.  (YES girlfriends - where Allie's summer house is in 'The Notebook'!!!!)  I was very very excited that we were able to do this because at first we thought it wasn't going to make it on the weekend agenda, but it happened to work out to where we were able to tour the plantation where we learned about the Gullah nation of the South Carolina low-country, and about the most photographed plantation in America.   IT WAS BEAUTIFUL!!!


Then the next week we went to Asheville (which I've already uploaded photos of via facebook) but I'll tell you more about that weekend LaTeR!! For now, I'll leave you with some pics of my wonderful weekend in Charleston....

peace and love

baily

funny convos

me: this bird you cannot change
him: or chain
me: freebirds are lovebirds
him: yep
me: you're my lovebird
him: you're my lovebird
me: no wait, you're my penguin
him: laughs at me
him: i'll be your penguin
me: did you know that when a penguin finds its soul-mate, it stays with it forever?
him: did you know that the male penguin has to take care of the egg or something?
me: like a mr. mom?
him: laughs at me more
me: that's awesome, the mr. mom.... while the female goes out there into the world and is the breadwinner and puts food on the table, huh?
him: except it's not a mr. mom yet - it's still an egg. 
me: even better, it's like he's mr. pregnant.
me again: but i'm serious, I just learned something new!

The End.

That was one of our conversations recently.
Our conversations are usually pretty random and hilarious. 
And I laugh a lot too.. but that would have been a little obnoxious to include. I just had to indicate that I'm funny by pin-pointing his laughter.

peace and love

bai

his and hers friendship bracelets

Yes, we have friendship bracelets.

No, he doesn't act like he's too cool for my kinds of things.

And certainly, I smile every time I see it and think about the matching one in South Carolina.

peace and love

baily

my inner voice

You know how everyone has that inner voice?  Some of us have a more outspoken one, because of my habit of talking to myself that I mentioned earlier, but we all have a conscious... and a pre-conscious and sub-conconcious and un-conscious... but for simpler means... that damn voice that drives us crazy...

Sometimes it's truly your own voice - slightly obnoxious and telling you to go for it, or somber and 'been there, done that' sounding and telling you to refrain from whatever obnoxious behavior you were about to go for.  Sometimes it's your mother's voice - telling you to do your laundry or a pep talk telling you to never give up.  Sometimes, it's Dad - telling you the race isn't over and to keep on running, and sometimes it's Sissy - compassionate and mood settling or sarcastic and witty and full of comic relief.  Then there's the voice of your past - usually haunting, sometimes comedic.  The voice of your childhood - usually indicating that the easiest cures are found in chocolate milk, chili/slaw dogs, and rainbow snow-cones.

Damn, little Baily sure did have some brains - those things could save the world I think.
Then there's adolescent Baily who indicated the easiest remedies were long, grueling trail runs, a bike ride with Mom and Dad, and a group of hellian friends.
Damn, that Baily sounds fun... and in shape.
Then there's college Baily who can't tell you any remedy - except for wrinkly-headed/smushy-faced boxers and these 3 words: DON'T HOLD BACK.

Don't hold back.
At anything.

Especially love.

No matter how many times my inner voice replays the jokes about my dating record, I'm glad I did it. Because I know things I never would have known, and I know someone now that I probably never would have known in this way.  And as crazy as I sound, I don't care because I've been complimented on how good I look with this smile on my face, and I have finally forgiven everyone in my past.  Fully and graciously, I have forgiven all that forsaked me, and I'm refreshed. I feel like a new person that has shed the scars and snipped the tattered ends that kept me from a smoother, more linear life.  I guess you meet the right person and they hand you the bandaids and the scissors and you get to start repairing yourself. 

Except there wasn't left to be done because I dug so deep to find myself, all the while he was doing the same, and it allowed for growth and a deepening of a relationship because the hard part was over - we did that for ourselves and we have been able to learn more than the "so much" we thought we already knew about ourselves, by being together and understanding one another.

So the inner-voice to me may come in all forms and tones of voices, but the underlying message from them all is that I've done an okay job for myself, getting over all the pain that struck me like lightning at times and tipped me over like a night-time cow at others.  I'm happy, more than content, and I'm reassured that I do the right thing by carrying an open-heart in my chest and thinking with an open-mind.  I took a chance on something that a lot of people thought I was "losing it" and setting up shop in "Looneyville" once and for all. 

But I have a good heart, and a good mind, and those two things have never been more balanced than when I am with this boy.  I just know that I've been blessed by God, and He has never spoken so clearly to me until now.

Don't hold back.

Peace and Love

Baily

i don't hold back, i'm no good then,

i'd rather be good sometimes

than holding back all the time.

-janis joplin

photo update

I had such an awesome time this weekend.  I have one very sweet (and devilishly handsome) boyfriend that gave me a weekend to remember.

Here are some pics from our afternoon at his sister's house in Folly Beach, South Carolina.
She may just have the best view in town.  She holds down the fort at some prime real estate by the infamous surf-spot 'the Washout'. 

It was fun to get my toes in the sand and relax for a couple of hours, and I got to see him catch a wave or two, and I fell in love with the golden retriever named Nesta!  The best part about it is that we have such a great time together, always.  There's no bickering or arguing or negative energy - ever!  It's always been good vibrations and easy-goingness with us and I couldn't be happier.

don't you love my panoramic digi-cam?

and the way the sun rises in the carolinas?

and how little that guy on the stand-up paddleboard is compared to the ocean and sun?

and how beautiful this is?

and how perfect for me he is?

and oh how I miss palmettos, sand, and 'sea'

 oh, and he likes to snap pictures of me when I'm not looking :)

and I love how he took these flutterbug pictures for me. there were SO many!

it was beautiful.

we sorta had a photo shoot session

and got some semi-good ones...

maybe so, maybe not

but we had so much fun...

 there he is... NESTA!

that's catherine's house to the right...

 I just HAD to dip my hair intothe salt-water so that I could have beach waves!

...I felt like my Florida-girl self ;)

me snapping photos of people standing by themselves in awkward mode is proof that I am Butch Jones' daughter ;) 

 these next 2 definitely give me nostalgia  

we both rock the beach waves

clay's bff weston and us :)

...maybe I'll post more later

maybe so, maybe not

peace and love

baily