good change

A lot has changed in my life recently.

I learned to let go, but I did it in a much different way than I ever have in the past.

In the past, when I went through a break-up or when life tossed one at me out of nowhere, much like the fire was for me, I shut out the rest of the world and lived for me while not believing in happily ever-afters.  Mostly true in the relationship cases. 

Break-ups have always been messy.  I think it is an untrue testament to anyone to say that a break-up was easy.  I mean, they were easy in middle school.  High school break-ups were even messy - and much to the lack of maturity on the male species side back then, they were probably the messiest of all. 

Then you get to college and you're through with 'the bull' and you really only date people that you could possibly see yourself being with for the rest of your life.  For those boys that just read that and got 'freaked out' - you are the ones that still have that high school maturity level and you need to graduate. But seriously, in college they get messy because not only do we put our heart and soul into this relationship we've found ourself in with Mr. Right slash Mr. Right now, we don't have a damn clue "who" we are just yet.  So we can't possibly get it right on the first couple of tries because we end up having to go through some pretty painful crap before we find out who we are as individuals let alone who we are as a girlfriend or fiance or wife or mom.  So cut us some slack, I'm aware of the fact that I can be a crazy bitch, I probably told each and every one of you boys that I've called "mine" this simple truth.

Because it's true.

I'll tell my husband on our wedding day, but he'll love me for it... it'll probably be one of the many reasons he loves me and why we're standing there in the first place.

That's why a recent bold move of mine is a testimony to myself in the fact that I went after what I wanted and listened to my heart. 

Once you break free of something and experience something like that, you find yourself a little more free than you've ever felt. 

And with big changes... there are big differences... in my happiness.

Especially in my growth as a person, my acceptance as a unique individual, and my all-around attitude about things.  It takes a little faith on my end, but I always had that and something was always missing or it never worked out for reasons aplenty, so I needed some faith in me from someone other than me and I finally have that.

It feels SO good!

So, with all those changes we feel like are beating us to a pulp, I can't say the changing ever stops but I can say that the changes become good and it's not painful anymore!

peaceandlove

baily