Showing posts with label Tough Life Stuff. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Tough Life Stuff. Show all posts

Wednesday, April 27, 2011

wednesday: frame your mind

Happy Wednesday!


It's good ole "Hump Day" in the middle of the week...
I hope you are finding yourself in a 'glass half-full' mindset today and not the 'glass half-empty' kind.  I know that's an old saying but I really am aware of how much attitude, perception, and outlook can determine the actuality of circumstances.  For instance, the day that I decided my past could and should be the very thing that fuels the fire that will blaze my future trails, I almost instantaneously began making strides toward a healthier lifestyle.  My attitude cleared the way and my mindset has kept me along this safer path.

I think of my mindsets that I have had over the past five years and it is clear to me that the happier times, the times I felt the most loved & included, along with feeling good about myself were the phases in my life when I had a positive attitude about life in general. 
It wasn't that life had neccessarily stopped throwing curveballs at me during those times - because life never stops throwing them, but it was the mental fitness I had that helped me determine whether to swing, let it pass me by, or catch it and throw it right back at wherever it came from.  Just like being up to bat.  It's all about the mental aspect at that point.

When Dad was sick with cancer, I studied his mind and body mastery.  His attitude triumphed over his circumstance.  My father was (and is) heroic in the way he showed me that attitude always wins. He showed me that bad circumstances need really really good attitudes in order to be handled best. He taught me that good circumstances need humble attitudes and grateful attitudes in order to be blessings and not self-destructive distractions.  Like all things in life, this too, must find balance. 

I was always a believer growing up, but it wasn't until the dreadful diagnosis of stage IV non-Hodgkins Lymphoma that I found the personal relationship with the Lord.  I was learning at a very young age that life was a series of tests except it wasn't like school where you get taught the lesson and then are tested on it.  In life, you are tested, and then you learn the lesson.  This is sometimes a frustrating concept to grasp, but I know now that it was preparation for my future. 

Since that day in February 1999, my Savior has continued to rescue me, keep me afloat, and get me safely back to shore.  I trust my Lord that He will not give me more than I can handle, at at times, I have wondered why He has such great faith in me because He sure does work in mysterious ways with me, but the main thing I can be grateful for is that I learned the kinds of things you just need to throw back and not lug around with you throughout your whole life.

Like a dark past.
Like a big mistake.
Like a group of people who go out of their way to hurt you.
Like friends who didn't care enough to get to know the real me.
Like the ghosts of boyfriends' past.
Like the silly stuff that doesn't matter.

"I've learned that making a "living" is not the same thing as making a "life." I've learned that life sometimes gives you a second chance. I've learned that you shouldn't go through life with a catcher's mitt on both hands; you need to be able to throw some things back. I've learned that whenever I decide something with an open heart, I usually make the right decision. I've learned that even when I have pains, I don't have to be one. I've learned that every day you should reach out and touch someone. People love a warm hug, or just a friendly pat on the back. I've learned that I still have a lot to learn. I've learned that people will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel." -Maya Angelou

peace and love
~bjj~

Read this blog post from April 13th last year >>> click here.
I wrote about my personal testimony and how my preparation for the big lessons in life were learned throughout my Daddy's twelve years as a "cancer patient"...
Only hours later did the irony of that blog post really hit home.  Literally, hit home.
Later that night, I lost everything in a house fire.  God was listening to me as I shared my testimony to the blog world and He gave me my next big lesson because I plain out asked for it. I needed direction, and he gave it to me admist chaos, smoke, and flame.  I've found my direction - to follow Christ and have that intimate personal relationship with Him and not wander on my own like I did for so long.

I've learned, and I'm ready.
Lord, have your way with me.

Friday, January 21, 2011

He knows when I am lonely

I’m sure everyone, at one point or another, has felt the way that I do today.   Today I thought long and hard about the difference in feeling lonely and being alone.  You'd probably agree that these two things are very very different.  You see, I look at "lonely" as a feeling, not always a circumstance.  Because the most lonely I've ever been is not when I've been in isolation - sure, those are some pretty down and out days when I don't put myself around others and experience the joy of company and conversation.  But, what I mean is that the hardest type of loneliness is when you are surrounded by people but you don't feel like they understand you or you don't know how to portray what's in your mind and in your heart because you fear that they just won't get it.  And then there is the other kind of lonely when you have someone in your life that does "get you" but they remove themselves from you without much explanation.  Certainly not the explanation or compassion that you'd think a relationship filled with "I love you's" and "You're the best thing that ever happened to me" comments would deserve.  Today, I experienced both of these feelings of loneliness.  It's not my family's fault or my friends' fault that I feel lonely at times.  It is just part of us.  We are supposed to feel loneliness to a certain extent, in my opinion, so that we know the happiness that comes from others - like friends and family. 
My loneliness today didn't last for long, though.  Something really "God-sent" happened to me - which I know was a blessing for being so disciplined in my prayer and quiet times lately.  First of all, let me tell you something exremely weird - I haven't cried.  Someone I loved dearly and considered my best friend turned their back on what a wonderful relationship we had, and I haven't cried.  This is weird because I am a girl who FEELS.  I have super-emotions!!! I am a giver, a lover, a fighter, and I DO NOT believe in giving up on someone that you share so much with.  So for me not to cry, I am astounded (in a really good way) by my strength and dignity I have shown.  But, I still hurt on the inside.  I still wonder "why" and think "I never thought someone so gentle and that adored me SO much would just quit on me" but I somehow manage not to let it get me down or keep me down for long.  I turn to the one thing that will NEVER forsake me, never give up on me, and never ever ever let me down.  His promises are kept, no matter what and he never ignores me!!!

I am so glad I have a personal relationship with the Lord.  I'm free of worry and anxiety and sadness when I look into His Word and read the beautiful truth.  That there IS A PLAN FOR ME, there is a future for me, and there is a God who I can count on while I seek this plan and future. 


So, when I started feeling misunderstood, misinterpreted, and misjudged and when the feelings of lonely starting creeping in, I opened up my book case and grabbed a wonderful devotional, "Do You Know Who I Am?" by Angela Thomas.  I kid you not, I opened the book and turned right to this page...


It was an absolute reminder from the Lord that He knows my pains, He knows me weaknesses, He knows my heart's desires.  After I sat there and took a break from my 'project' I was working on and read this chapter that I just happened to open the book up to, I took in the awesome feeling of relief and felt so many worries just fade away.  I know that I will have lonely days.  I've experienced things in my life, like the fire, that few people will understand (and that's a good thing, I don't wish that upon anyone) and I know that life is an individualistic journey and we all are different - which can sometimes make for feelings of not fitting in, feeling left out, being rejected, being sad, and being misunderstood - but I also know that the Lord will not put any type of feelings, or any circumstance, or any tragedy in our lives without also giving us the strength and ability to handle it.  That's why I was meant to open the book up to page 111, Ch. 7 titled "Do You Know I Am Lonely? He is Here." 

The Lord is close to the brokenhearted
and saves those who are crushed in spirit.
Psalm 34:18

By reading that and praying for God to help me with my loneliness, I was able to turn the pain and sadness of being lonely into a feeling of solitude. Solitude is a word intended to express the glory of being alone.  I enjoyed this quiet time... the silence, the stillness.  I was calmed... because I know He loves me, He cares for me, and He is always here. 


peace and love
baily

God will honor the woman who faces her
 loneliness and then decides to live with integrity.

Wednesday, December 15, 2010

friends make life better


Yesterday was so much fun! 

I met up with some friends...
talked A LOT (so weird, right?!)...
 and shopped 'til Mom and I dropped! 

I woke up and had my 'quiet time' and read a certain Bible verse that keeps speaking to me
as I go through this transition time in my life.  It is an excellent reminder every time I get to feeling down a bit.... it comes from Mark 5:34...

Daughter, your faith has healed you. Go in peace and be freed from your suffering.

I took a shower and went about my day, feeling so much more uplifted having read that.  I went to Coldwell Banker to meet up with my best friend, Justin, and say hello to his mom.  Justin and I then went across the street to Panera to visit and catch up on life.  We ran into some random friends and visited, then sat down to talk about all that has been going on in this crazy/beautiful life of mine.  After our visit, I couldn't help but realize how blessed I am for the wonderful friendships that I still have in this special town that I grew up in.

After I visited with Justin, I met up with my good friend Adam for lunch.  Adam has always treated me like a little sister and we have a very unique friendship.  He told me about the new girl he's seeing and I told him about the issues that surround me and my life right now, and we had a great lunch at Chili's - queso and Southwestern eggrolls.  Totally my favs!

After that I went to the outlet mall where Mom was working at the Ann Taylor store and we shopped for me some WARM clothes.  I think Dad and I are driving up to Tuscaloosa to box up a few more of my things this weekend, but it is SOOOO FREEZING in Central Florida right now.  Me no like it!  I got some great deals at Banana Republic, Express, and Forever 21.  Thank  goodness for that insurance check, because I have been able to replace a lot of things that were damaged in that fire.  I am well on my way to a great, rebuilded life!

Today I've got to take care of some chores around the house and then go have a fun day with a fellow freebird friend, Shore.  She's awesome! :)


I am so blessed with a great family and many, many wonderful friendships!

peace and love
baily

Monday, December 6, 2010

c h a n g e

Every once in a while we find ourselves a little lost.  Sometimes we lose faith, we lose someone we love, or we misread our directions in life.  We make wrong turns, we take bad advice, and we go against our better judgement.  When these things happen, we experience the realness of life.  These experiences make us realize that dreams are merely dreams if we don't face the reality of what it takes to make them come true.  Once again, I find myself at this point.

After a number of 'wrong turns' and a list of bad decisions, I find myself a victim of my own mistakes. 

Being a victim of your own mistakes is the worst of all - because, after all, you play the role of both perpetrator and the one being victimized.  When someone hurts us, we are angry at them, want revenge on them, or want nothing to do with them at all.  But when you hurt yourself, what do you do?  Do you dwell in self-pity? Are you supposed to lash out at yourself?  You can't avoid this person that harmed you because it's you.  Therefore, it comes down to your only two options:  continue to make the same mistakes OR, simply change. 

I have decided to choose the latter option.  I'm going to change.

Except this time, it is not a "cold turkey" change.  It isn't something that I decided to do one day out of the blue.  I have been changing.  The inner-most depths of my heart and soul have endured heartache and pain and learned lessons the hard way.  Therefore, I can take what I learned from my past darkest hours and use it to shine some light on the gloom that creeps around me.  As for the people I have hurt along the way, I am sorry.  I can only hope that the ones who know me best know that I want to do whatever it takes to make it better, no matter how long that may take.  I find glimpses of joy in knowing that I am prayed for, supported, worried for, concerned for, cared for, and most of all - loved. 

I have a strong & loving family, a supportive boyfriend who loves me as well, and a multitude of well-wishing friends.  I am surrounded by love, which brings me peace as well as happiness.  I have past mistakes that serve as a reminder that no matter how tough life may get, it goes on.  I have a certain amount of jadedness that edged me and shaped me into knowing that it isn't about how many times you fall down in life as long as you get back up.  There is an understanding inside of me that knows that suffering is a part of life, but enough knowledge in me, too, that assures me that there are plenty of things to rejoice in at the same time.  I have faith in a Lord that never leaves me, provides for me, and gives me a fortress and refuge.  I have a book that is filled with the truth and is a lamp unto my feet.  I have love, guidance, and new direction in so many ways.

That is why I know that it doesn't end here.  As a victim of my own mistakes, I am in control of fixing those mistakes.  I have a choice to hate myself or love myself or abandon myself.  The love vs. hate - this I struggle with but I always come to the conclusion that I will find a way to love myself no matter what.  That was one of the lessons learned the hard way - if I love myself, others will love me as well.  If I hate me, hate will linger and ruin much more than just the soul that dwells inside of me.  If I abandon myself, I will waste the ambition, perserverance, and self-actualization that is still a part of me.  Although darkened by shadows of my past mistakes, those things are still very much there and are the sails that will carry me back out to sea when my ship is repaired.

So, as I prepared to be worked on - nurtured, loved, supported, and cared for by the family and friends I mentioned above, I just want to say thank you for those that love me despite my self-circumstance.  We all live in this world together but experience LiFe in such different ways... even though I expect very few people or no one at all to understand me and this transition I find myself in, I still hope that I am allowed to prove myself again and regain the respect and admiration that I once had of so many people.  I've let some people down - mostly that strong and loving family I hold so dearly, but I am confidant in this very moment because of the confidance they continue to instill in me - even in my darkest hour.

Great distances are covered one step at a time. -Anonymous

Thank you to those that support me and love me.  And for those that don't, I understand your disappointment.  I have disappointed myself but have also made myself proud by doing what is best for me at this particular point in life.  I hope I can gain the chance to overcome these disappointments - this is my very prayer. 

After all, it is a winding road when you're in the lost and found. Even more, I'm turning around and changing my life.  I will never give up.

Peace and Love
Glory to God
b a i l y