Happy Wednesday!
It's good ole "Hump Day" in the middle of the week...
I hope you are finding yourself in a 'glass half-full' mindset today and not the 'glass half-empty' kind. I know that's an old saying but I really am aware of how much attitude, perception, and outlook can determine the actuality of circumstances. For instance, the day that I decided my past could and should be the very thing that fuels the fire that will blaze my future trails, I almost instantaneously began making strides toward a healthier lifestyle. My attitude cleared the way and my mindset has kept me along this safer path.
I think of my mindsets that I have had over the past five years and it is clear to me that the happier times, the times I felt the most loved & included, along with feeling good about myself were the phases in my life when I had a positive attitude about life in general.
It wasn't that life had neccessarily stopped throwing curveballs at me during those times - because life never stops throwing them, but it was the mental fitness I had that helped me determine whether to swing, let it pass me by, or catch it and throw it right back at wherever it came from. Just like being up to bat. It's all about the mental aspect at that point.
When Dad was sick with cancer, I studied his mind and body mastery. His attitude triumphed over his circumstance. My father was (and is) heroic in the way he showed me that attitude always wins. He showed me that bad circumstances need really really good attitudes in order to be handled best. He taught me that good circumstances need humble attitudes and grateful attitudes in order to be blessings and not self-destructive distractions. Like all things in life, this too, must find balance.
I was always a believer growing up, but it wasn't until the dreadful diagnosis of stage IV non-Hodgkins Lymphoma that I found the personal relationship with the Lord. I was learning at a very young age that life was a series of tests except it wasn't like school where you get taught the lesson and then are tested on it. In life, you are tested, and then you learn the lesson. This is sometimes a frustrating concept to grasp, but I know now that it was preparation for my future.
Since that day in February 1999, my Savior has continued to rescue me, keep me afloat, and get me safely back to shore. I trust my Lord that He will not give me more than I can handle, at at times, I have wondered why He has such great faith in me because He sure does work in mysterious ways with me, but the main thing I can be grateful for is that I learned the kinds of things you just need to throw back and not lug around with you throughout your whole life.
Like a dark past.
Like a big mistake.
Like a group of people who go out of their way to hurt you.
Like friends who didn't care enough to get to know the real me.
Like the ghosts of boyfriends' past.
Like the silly stuff that doesn't matter.
"I've learned that making a "living" is not the same thing as making a "life." I've learned that life sometimes gives you a second chance. I've learned that you shouldn't go through life with a catcher's mitt on both hands; you need to be able to throw some things back. I've learned that whenever I decide something with an open heart, I usually make the right decision. I've learned that even when I have pains, I don't have to be one. I've learned that every day you should reach out and touch someone. People love a warm hug, or just a friendly pat on the back. I've learned that I still have a lot to learn. I've learned that people will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel." -Maya Angelou
peace and love
~bjj~
Read this blog post from April 13th last year >>> click here.
I wrote about my personal testimony and how my preparation for the big lessons in life were learned throughout my Daddy's twelve years as a "cancer patient"...
Only hours later did the irony of that blog post really hit home. Literally, hit home.
Later that night, I lost everything in a house fire. God was listening to me as I shared my testimony to the blog world and He gave me my next big lesson because I plain out asked for it. I needed direction, and he gave it to me admist chaos, smoke, and flame. I've found my direction - to follow Christ and have that intimate personal relationship with Him and not wander on my own like I did for so long.
I've learned, and I'm ready.
Lord, have your way with me.
