friends bring laughter

Yesterday was a ‘Sunday Funday’ for sure.  I hung out with the world’s greatest friends at Cassandra and Mike’s 24^th Birthday gathering… they’re my fraternal twin friends.  It was a GORGEOUS day in Orlando so we had a great time hanging out in Baldwin Park.

Susan and I

Ashley, Jillian, Cassandra, Baily, Beth, Posi, Susan

Baily, Posi, Beth

Baily & Cassandra (the birthday girl!)

Ashley, Baily, Jillian

      

It was such a fun day... I had a really good time.  I was in a giggly mood, for sure.  It's hard not to be around some of my friends.  This friend right here is just plain hilarious (always has been, always will be...)  I mean, look at her Harry Potter 'Snuggie' and suitcase(??)... Only Beth...

After we hung out at the pool and at Cass/Posi/Beth's place in Baldwin Park, Beth and I went and hung out with some of our favorite guy friends.  Here's a pic of me and one of my best guy buddies, David...

I missed these friends so much when I was in Alabama - it feels SO GOOD to be home with them.  I know that I am cared about and supported here, and it was the best decision of my life to come home and get my bearings again in the place that will always call me one of their own.  I realized yesterday how truly blessed I am to have these friends!

My cheeks and abs seriously hurt from laughing so much yesterday... and for that, I'm not complaining!!! It was an excellent start to my new week and ending to my weekend.  Thanks, friends!!! And Happy Birthday, Cassandra & Mike - much love!!!

Speaking of BIRTHDAYS! Guess who was born yesterday???

PIPER NOELLE NEUMANN

7 lbs 7 oz

Oh my goodness... she is so beautiful.
Elena said she's healthy, happy, and gorgeous! I can't wait to get back up to Birmingham to hold little Piper.  I am looking at flights and making an itinerary ASAP!

peace and love
BAILY

...I live to love and laugh a lot, and that's all I need.
-kenny chesney

friends make life better

Yesterday was so much fun! 

I met up with some friends...

talked A LOT (so weird, right?!)...

 and shopped 'til Mom and I dropped! 

I woke up and had my 'quiet time' and read a certain Bible verse that keeps speaking to me

as I go through this transition time in my life.  It is an excellent reminder every time I get to feeling down a bit.... it comes from Mark 5:34...

Daughter, your faith has healed you. Go in peace and be freed from your suffering.

I took a shower and went about my day, feeling so much more uplifted having read that.  I went to Coldwell Banker to meet up with my best friend, Justin, and say hello to his mom.  Justin and I then went across the street to Panera to visit and catch up on life.  We ran into some random friends and visited, then sat down to talk about all that has been going on in this crazy/beautiful life of mine.  After our visit, I couldn't help but realize how blessed I am for the wonderful friendships that I still have in this special town that I grew up in.

After I visited with Justin, I met up with my good friend Adam for lunch.  Adam has always treated me like a little sister and we have a very unique friendship.  He told me about the new girl he's seeing and I told him about the issues that surround me and my life right now, and we had a great lunch at Chili's - queso and Southwestern eggrolls.  Totally my favs!

After that I went to the outlet mall where Mom was working at the Ann Taylor store and we shopped for me some WARM clothes.  I think Dad and I are driving up to Tuscaloosa to box up a few more of my things this weekend, but it is SOOOO FREEZING in Central Florida right now.  Me no like it!  I got some great deals at Banana Republic, Express, and Forever 21.  Thank  goodness for that insurance check, because I have been able to replace a lot of things that were damaged in that fire.  I am well on my way to a great, rebuilded life!

Today I've got to take care of some chores around the house and then go have a fun day with a fellow freebird friend, Shore.  She's awesome! :)

I am so blessed with a great family and many, many wonderful friendships!

peace and love

baily

new friends and old friends

When I advocate myself as a peace and love lady, I don't mean to insinuate that I'm a lost soul way over on the left side.  I think world peace would be a pretty awesome thing obviously, but I carry a realistic state of mind for the most part and know that it has unfortunately turned into something that is just a euphoria for all the dreamers and peace wishers out there.  So I guess my generation advocates the ideas of peace and love more in the peace of mind kind of way and the love your neighbor and love your life ways. 
The tricky part to it all is the peace part.  Always has been, always will be... even in the peace of mind way.

Because the love part is all up to you and to your own heart and your own burning passion. Whereas, peace of mind, has to do with a combination of things: a unity and a harmony of all different sorts that come together to create that eye of the storm, the safe haven in the middle of life.  Our own peace of mind.

When you are given a new peace of mind, from what I've come to find out at least, you can feel it and it's a whole experience in itself.  I got that last night.

I experienced a new peace of mind.  A worry was stripped from me, a friend was made and another friend regained.  I feel an abundant happiness from the way things turned out with a very special friend and a lovely gal who is not only appreciated by me for being so 'real' and so 'genuine' but for being a big person and inspiring me to aim for the same gracefulness in other situations.

I guess since I've blogged about it enough over the past six months, I can say that I was pretty upset and broken-hearted over the drying up of a really groovy friendship.  That certain friend who threw me the life preserver when I was sinking ship.  The one who made me love myself and see that I'm capable of living a pretty kickass and extraordinary life and, to be honest, this certain best guy friend finally had to put it brutally honest to me: if you want to be miserable, be miserable... but if you want life to love you back you gotta love life Baily Jones."  It's one of those lines you just don't forget because he was exactly right.  He's always been a passionate life-liver and that's an inspiring characteristic that pulls other creative-souled people in like a magnet because it's an energy we all crave for the adventurous life.  So it didn't surprise me that I found a lot of things we have in common when I had the opportunity to get to know his leading lady, here recently. 

The most awesome part about this newfound harmony amongst old and new friends is just that.  Sometimes you just have to keep digging to find the answer for the reasons things were the way they were.  I wanted to know, for so long, why I had found this friendship so dried up when it once splashed with all things BFF. haha. But, I forgave and tried to understand even though the absence was paralyzing some of those days this summer when life got hardest for me.  I continued to do what I thought was right and each night I would hope for new signs of friendship tomorrow.  Eventually, all the pieces fell into place.  Once I learned the lessons, forgave myself for wrestling with negativity and emotions and empty apathy, and after I did my own part in creating a peace of mind for myself.  After I took care of those things, life just seemed to - well, love me back!

I'm excited about my new peace of mind.  I think this 'phase' I got through was something that I needed to go through.  I've learned a lot about friendship this summer and Fall.  I've learned my heart and kept my mind positive and for that I do believe my mind and my heart are now in harmony with one another.  And for extra good sleep at night, I can finally say that I feel pretty unified and harmonous with two people that mean a lot to me already - one old and one new. 

So thanks, friends.  Things like this might not be life or death or the reason we are all standing at the end of the day - but it gives us a reason to dance, for sure. They are our bridges over troubled water. And, it's one small battle that's been given some world peace and one busy little neurotic mind that was given a few doses of peace as well.  And as always, there's mad friend-love from me to y'all.

peace and love

baily

mi vida, en realidad (my life, actually)

I have not been a very active blogger lately and I am completely aware of it.  Sometimes things get busy or the stars align in other ways and we are too busy living and experiencing and we have to wait until things slow down in order to update the blog and all.  That's very much what has been going on with me.  Between schoolwork and entertaining a suprise guest, I just not have found a sweet little window of time to get some things off of my chest.

In time's past, when I say I have to unload the thoughts and burdens that are bothersome, it has come out in an unorganized mess that is usually an honest depiction of the process in which most my thinking occurs.  Anywho, I have a lot on my mind to say the least: some makes me happy, some makes me sad, and some have not been figured out entirely so I'm not exactly sure what sort of affect they will have on me.  

For starters, school is going well.  I have to admit that it is sometimes aggravating having to live in what is remnants of the fire and doing the things and sort of assignments I was doing before they were items to be added to my insurance claims check. But, Forrest Gump said it best... shit happens.

Speaking of FG, I watched that movie recently.  Actually, I watched all 3 of my favorite movies this week.  Almost Famous, Forrest Gump, and (500) Days of Summer.  Wow.  I couldn't tell you the last time I watched 3 DVDs in one week.  I know I have, because I have always been a movie girl and my sister was the television show gal.  But 3 in one week?  That happened NEVER when my world was the twilight zone.  Thank goodness for having that little luxury back in my life.  And where I thought Mr. Clay was going to be my music-man, he's turned out to be a pretty groovy movie watcher, too.  I have truly missed that for a while now, and it's good to have that back!

Something that has me flustered is that, to put it simply, Dancing With The Stars is absolutely awful this year. Please give me some lovelies to look at like Erin and Pamela if the dances are going to be just as sub-par to last season as the line-up is, but compared to Michael Bolton and The Situation, I would rather watch Jake Pavelka prancing around like a pansie again.  Or, maybe not.  I do like that Sarah Palin is in the stands and that Levi Johnston is banned from the audience.  And even though I was like the very last person of people my age to jump aboard the Jersey Shore boat, and despite the grossed-out near-nausea affect that The Situ & his boys have on me, I'm with my Sissy - I am in love with Snooki.  She cracks me up... and WHO cannot LoVe the fact that she called out our Pop-star Pres on the taxing of tanning beds.  Maybe it's that or maybe it's when she goes into an all-out fit fest she reminds me I'm not the only crazy bia-bia about there. Ha, jk. Maybe.

Oh yeah, speaking of fancy-prance Jake, did I ever let y'all know that I switched to "Team Vienna" after the spectacle he made of himself when he showed us what a d-word he was?  Yes, my ex-boyfriend in high school may or may not have had his transgressions with her... but we all can change... but none of us gals deserve to be treated like that.  "Undermine me?"  Sadly, the term was used with me.  Saddest part, after Jake had already used it and it be viewed by said person accusing me of the underminement. (Is that a word?? I do not know.)

And lastly, what do you do when you can't find the words to say to somebody?  There are two people that I don't know what to say.  One, I want to say goodbye to and leave the friendship that he left behind, but I want to do it with a little bit more grace than he did.  Maybe the reason there are no words is because he doesn't deserve another try and he doesn't deserve my friendship that fuels the need to say what I feel anyway.  So maybe I will just stay silent about that.  Still, I hope he never treats someone the way he has treated me.  But at the same exact time, I hope he can be a lighthouse to another life and safely guide lost ships to shore.  That's what he was for me.  He listened to me but made me hear the music of my own uniquness and that's what gave me the bubbly life of Baily back and what has kept me dancing throughout even the saddest of songs.  But I guess he doesn't neccessarily have to be amongst the ones dancing with me.  'Tis a shame, I would have been a good friend to him and he's chosen to not only have no desire for it, but has no desire to display any decency in listening to what I have to say or to know the new me.  The one that had to roll with the punches and adapt to some major friggin' changes in life.  Some HUGE ones.  Like, Ms. Gump said 'You have to put the past behind you in order to move on' and she's never been more right in her life.  Well, other than the other uber-brilliant lines she is quoted in that extra-uber-brilliant film.  But of course I've changed, better yet - I've improved, and I think that my Faith is what has me to continue on praying for him and the absolutely unneeded dramatic situation, and above all, a life full of happiness - even though most people think I'm batshit crazy for still caring about him.  I guess, once a Bobby McGee always a Bobby McGee.  But like most songs, interpret it as you will
The other, just sort of leaves me speechless for all the POSITIVE reasons.  Just the little things in life that are noticed and put into action without structured planning of so... the laughter that I would have NEVER known was missing until I realized I truly had it back... the ability to be oneself around someone unfamiliar yet more familiar and real than you can even describe, the affirmation that everything happens for a reason, and how pretty the glow of a candle can be after all, and the simplicity of knowing that fire can, in fact, be enjoyed when it's lighting the scene for reheated leftovers with someone special enough to WANT to know me, the REAL me.  And what really leaves me speechless... I've never been so honest about myself with someone in my entire life.  I surprise myself at the things I will tell him.  But they are safe - those secrets are. And any signs of jadedness on my heart are not from him, but he respects them.  I'll be able to put it in an understandable statement one day I reckon.  'Til then, I'll live my days with the appreciation for the people who not only want to build a friendship and relationship with me but they are willing to do it with a leap of faith.  While others, they turn their back on a true intent to be friends with not only him but the people he values with love, including the obviously highly thought of girlfriend of his.  I guess I was a part of a completely different friendship and I guess no matter what I do, or say, people will think of me the way THEY WANT TO think of me. 

And then others, think of me as - to put it simply - worth it.

Oh yeah, to get you caught up to speed with other ramblings: I have a renewed zest for learning Spanish again, I am DYING to get my hands on a personal project and turn it into something that makes a BIG DIFFERENCE for a charitable organization that I am PASSIONATE about, and I can't wait to see my family and get THE MILLIE GIRL back tomorrow.  .  . yes, be prepared for a Momma who has missed 'The Pig' and who will ALSO be getting her digi-cam back and you know what happened last time, don't you? When Mildred and I were reunited post-fire, and the digi-cam was replaced the first go-round (before the Target idiot broke the brand new thing), I ended up taking boo-koos of pictures. 

But it's not like she makes it hard to 'oOoH' and 'aAaAh' over, let's be for serious now...

peace and love

baily

and there's nothing wrong with the way that she moves;

or scarlet begonias or a touch of the blues

what a perf song chico

good riddance

As a lot of the harder events in life do, the fire really taught me who my true friends are.  I know I probably sound like a horribly scratched vinyl when I say that, but it is getting to the point where my entire record album of friendships is one of those that you just have to stop spinning, stop trying to clean it up, and stop trying to rub out the scratches.  Sometimes, we are just scratching it up even more and are going nowhere fast.  Other times, the needle of the record player gets damaged... that sensitive, little, tiniest part of the whole record player is the needing and that is the feeling that makes the music come out of the record player.  It touches down on the vinyl, it glides around and around taking each scratch like a blunt force to the heart and the sound is not anywhere close to the delight of a vinyl like Shakedown Street.  It ruins the whole jam.  Then the crackling noise of the scratches is painful to everyone listening. 

Sometimes it's not just the breakups and makeups that tear our heart apart or put it back together.  Friendships are usually the core of any little socialite's being.  Of course my family is my backbone.  My mom, dad, and sister are each individually one of my best friends and favorite people to spend my time with - on their own levels and in shape of different dynamics with me.  And boyfriends have always been my best buds.  Some of them were already that way and some of them grew, at a rapid pace, into that.  So friendship, in essence, is a large part of every single relationship, no matter what the dynamic is, that I have ever had in life.

Friendships mean more to me than a lot of values even.  That's how important it is to me to be taken seriously as a friend and it explains my need to have these friends of mine understand how serious I am in my feelings toward them.  For example, there are those "questions of rhetoric" like 'what would you grab if your house was on fire?' and 'who would you take a bullet for?'" that we all liked to ask and rev up conversations when we were younger.  When people ask me who I would take a bullet for, I usually say 'just about anybody!'  I'm not going to die for the criminal types that have made taking gunshots for friends a rhetorical topic.  How unfortunate, really.  But, I say 'just about anybody' because I know where I am going when I time out.  My mom and dad do, my sister does, and I hope that any of my friends that are standing around watching me bleed-out for the sake of another also know that I am headed homeward when my earthly life ends.  To be a hero, no.  I wouldn't be able to feel the recognition I may be honored with by taking a bullet.  To save one single life of 'just anybody' I would rip the worlds apart of my loved ones?  No, I would hope that whether it saved a single soul at all, it would be a testament to my faith and that more souls would trust God in this mean, cruel world and that it would be a testament to the love and admiration I have always had for people I recognize as my friends.

The love is big and bountiful that I have for the people in my life.  The ones that I want to spend my precious time with.  The ones who I want to spend that time with and have them consider it more precious for having me around.  The friends that I would take bullets for or that I'd even set fire to my new room for if it meant keeping them out of harms away.

But not for the friends who are the ones with the loaded gun pointed at me.  I'm not going to keep taking the bullet when I'm walking around with a target on my heart like it's the first day of hunting season.  I keep doing it to myself, and I am just simply 'done' with it.

When my dad was diagnosed with cancer, I saw my family change for the better in so many ways.  It didn't happen over night though and it didn't happen at any free expense.  We paid for it, because to truly develop and turn over these leaves in life you have to be willing to be realistic about things and the reality is that you have to deal with the rain to get the rainbow.  I didn't understand it as a 6th grader, but the difficult times are what produce a lot of knowledge people have as far as who their true friends are.  God wouldn't put us through difficult times if it didn't have the potential to make this great discovery and reinvention.  My parents truly found out who some of their best friends were and weren't when they were struggling with loads and loads of emotion and anxieties.  Of course most of their friends called them when they heard about dad's diagnosis.  These people were still human-beings, they just weren't best friends like they may have been thought of prior.  But is a true friend someone who is probably genuinely sorry when they call to say sorry, but then act as if the cancer went away the next day?  I mean, yeah, that day we heard the news our lives changed wholely and drastically, but wait a minute, where'd everyone go 6 months later?  This is getting hard now!  The reality of being a cancer patient with needles in the arm, extra traveling days to see doctors and more days on top of the days of work I never missed that I spend away from the girls.  More exhaustion.  More fear.  More anxiety. 
I just don't get it... do you have to be like me and go through all this 'crap' in life in order to understand the needs of others in a friendship?  It's a 2 way street.  Sometimes the street lights go out, sometimes it's a block party, but at the end of every night it's a street.  Friendships are like that.  There are darker times, fixable problems, and sometimes they are full of fun in every shape and size.  But it's a friendship, at the end of the day.

That's why my true friends are the ones that understand this fire is still not over for me.  No one understands it because they have never been through a fire.  It is hard to understand the needs of one human when it's atypical of the human experience.  I mean, the fire-fighters put out the flames and the fire is over.  Let bygones be bygones, right guys?  No.  That's not how it works.  And everytime you are so insensitive to that fact, the flames that still haunt me just flare up and it's like pouring kerosene straight to a match. 

The past two days have been quite the learning experience as I have tried to propell onward from some of the devastating results of April's fire.  Friendships that went to the gutter were laid upon me and I so badly wanted to go back to the 'old ways' and have a good time with a friend who used to mean so much to me.  I was getting to hang out with a group of friends that ought to know how cherished they are.  And I was finally going to let my recent hardwork and self-discipline of staying in, get to go out and have a good time to see a band that I have grown to really super-duperly love.

But the consideration was a one-way street.  I made plans days ago so that it might actually happen, and that's what you do (I thought) to show that you really wanted it to happen.  But it didn't.  And I can choose to be a bitch about it or I can choose to just let it go and give myself an A for effort.  If this certain friend didn't want to go, he could've told me before I was blow-drying my hair in an effort to spend some good, quality time with an old friend, a group of gals, and one amazing band (and that's extra effort because I usually let it dry out the window while on the 52mile trek to Birmingham).

I'm disappointed by others, but not in the way I am about a certain friend.  The others have priorities and lives that allow for changes in plans because of things that 'just happen' when you have a seriously committed relationship and prior commitments, etc.  But, it still is nice to know before last minute that this night you looked forward to all week is just a no-go.

Then, to know that my ex-boyfriend will be there -who is a music-idiot and has no appreciation for the band who is playing, just gave me plenty of reasons not to go.  Not like I'd be showing up in any true 'fashion' with friends who don't want to be there and a head full of wisdom knowing that I'm a better person for trying than not. 

But I'm throwing in the towel and hanging up the cleats with this game.  The music-idiot can do his stupid dance that always made me uneasy with second-hand embarassment all he wants with my new favorite band playing and the lead singer singing the lyrics that tell a story far more invigorating than any flat, one dimensional thrill he ever gave me as my boyfriend.  Because if I was there, flower-dancing and shoutin' hollers at my Chapel Hill musicians I'd be all smiles and I'd be gone to Carolina in my mind because those sweet tunes are all things new and make me think of the new and adventurous life that I found the very same weekend that I found my love for the band I'm talking about.  I'd be bouncing around the room like a leprachuan who found a pot of gold, because I did - and I am a field of four leaf clovers lucky!

I'm just not going to put myself in those situations though.  Not when I know I have a better life elsewhere and that waiting it out and not being hurt by friends who are not so and trying to make old friendships spark again.

Some things just won't catch fire, and other things that aren't supposed to, do.  The flames of these friendships are not catching fire and blazing any paths for me in my life, so I'm just going to stop trying to do it all myself.  Because there is someone who has reminded me that good people do exist and that people DO find my interesting enough to not only want to get to know me, but truly know me, and therefore they know how deeply hurt I am by the shallowness of friendships that I thought were much deeper than they actually are.

I guess when you play it safe in the kiddie pool, the shallow end of the real pool seems deeper than imaginable when you promote yourself to the bigger world.  Then you hang out in the 3foot waters and you realize that the real fun is in the deep end with the grown-ups.

I know the dangers of the deep end and I know there are things in the deep end that are harder to see than in the shallow.  But what's the fun in not taking a risk and exploring new waters?  To be honest, it's not just more fun, more thrilling, and representative of going to the next level, it's just better than all the games and chaos that go on with the immature people in the pool's shallow end.  That's exactly what I don't need.

A lot of people who have had to go through things and lose the magnitude of "things" that I did in that room would want to play it safe.  Maybe not even get their toes wet yet, and I understand that because it's far more emotional that anyone can comprehend. ( And y'all, when I say the 'magnitude', I mean HUGE. I say that because A  LOT was in that room. The fact that I did not have any storage space whatsoever means that what I owned is what I lost, and I've always been more than grateful for the great amount of stuff I was blessed with. But like I say, he giveth. And he taketh.)
But, as I plunge into new beginnings everyday, I choose NOT to play it safe.  I'm diving headfirst into waters that I trust, with blind faith, are deep.  I jumped off a cliff with the hope that it would make a splash for ME and whoever else was at the bottom waiting on me. 

And sometimes, someone else is down at the bottom in those deep waters that aren't visited much by a lot of people.  Because you have to jump without being afraid to fall and it's not 'what everybody else is doing' and it's looked at as 'crazy' or running away from something.  It's just not that way, and if it was I still wouldn't care what others thought about me.  Why start now? 

So if people want to say I'm not a good friend because I chose tonight to hang up the cleats and not start another game, then so be it.  Those are the very people that think I just like to chase tornadoes and put myself into a stirred mess of drama.  They are the ones who say I'm crazy for jumping into something I know nothing about, but I know they are secretly admiring my tenacity to go after the new and exciting.  And that's why I can sleep at night, because I chose to KNOW these people.  I chose to listen to their needs and try to be there to help them with those needs whenever I could.  I know that deep down they are good people and will make many friends because their personality is charming and witty and they can make almost anyone laugh on the worst day of their life, and the one that couldn't understand the emotional attachment I have to music will too because he's like the ledge-step in the deep end.  You think you're in uncharted waters and as deep and expansive as you can possibly be and then you realize you're not but on a step, a safety zone, that is the edge of something even more exasperating - if you let go.

I let go of him because he would not look at life as an adventure.  I'm letting go of the funny guy because sometimes life gets serious and there are things that happen between friends that can't be fixed with a 459876th trip to the same bar, doing the same thing that has always been done for 5 years now.  I was willing to drive the hour to Birmingham to do something out of the ordinary and to dance to a sweet little tune or two.  No, no one has heard of them and I had never heard of them either, until I found the place where I was going to make my dive head-first.  But now I'm in LOVE with this band and just wanted to bring the kind of friends that would enjoy them with me, to a place out of the ordinary and to hear some music that is new to everyone.  But does that make it any worse?  No.  Am I upset that I am not hearing the band right now?  No.  I am, I've actually heard more than I would have since it's a never-ending playlist of mine now.  But am I upset that some friends fail to see that this was about much more than a band from North Carolina?  Yes.  Am I going to put in the unreciprocated effort anymore?  Nope, this blog post was all I've got.

I like swimming in my new life's waters.  A little bit from my past, a lot of bit undiscovered.  It's funny how I found it on the same exact sand that was under my toes when I saw the ocean for the first time... as a little little girl.  It is the same body of water that I grew up beside in Florida, but the ocean brings on new life from every different perspective and I have a good one now.  I understand the world a lot better than before, and that is because I made this commitment to let this fire develop me rather than unravel me.

He unraveled other things, but developed me.  If I am put down for further developing myself then I am only given more proof that everyone needs a little fire in their life, in one way or the other.  I already had passions in life that were on fire: children with special needs, journalism, music.  And I already had more than 3 dimensions to me, but I didn't let the fire burn me down to just 3 - how normal would that be.  So maybe some of my  growth also lies in cutting some ties.  And the way some people have acted and used the knife to the back tactic, I'm going to show that I'm a bigger person by just nipping it with some child-proof scissors.  When I picked the things of my past that I wanted to bring to the future, I left the mean snake-in-the-grass sneaky Baily, wait no - I left her in high school, I left the ridiculous sometimes too dramatic Baily.  Now, I deal with the drama that is needed and typical of anyone that chooses to display feeling and emotion in their life. 

And I don't deal with the drama that isn't needed.

peace and love

baily

good riddance

my trip with the boys

I've always had such a strong friendship with all my guy friends.

There has always been a 'catch 22' to it, though

because at some point we all realized we had

G R O W N  U P

They started falling in love with the girls...

I began these 384735897 seasons as 'The Bachelorette'.

But every once in a while, we all find ourselves  S I N G L E  again.

And lucky for me - the boys don't mind it if "Bear" is a part of man time.

A bunch of lazy boys with a hyper and excited kid-sister type to fetch beers?

Plus the beach! 

Don't mind if I do, they say!

I picked up Frank from his house in Oviedo and we hopped on I-4 West bound from Orlando to Tampa.  Frank and I always had a close friendship.  His main love was one of my best friends and he was best friends with my main love.  The four of us were best known as 'the Rat Pack' and that's just a whole other story in itself!  Those were some funny times!

Frank just relocated from Boston where he was in school and the starting center-fielder for Northeastern.  We were headed to Tampa Bay/Clearwater Beach area to visit Steven and Ryan.  We had plans to get up with Dana, who had just relocated to Tampa, but were unable to!  Word on the street is that she may be a little less single than us! ;)

Ryan and I grew up together and our families stayed close through soccer and community.  After we graduated he moved to Tampa to attend USF and now he's loving the big world from over on Florida's West coast - I don't blame him!

Steven also went to USF.  His dad was the Methodist minister in my hometown and Steven and I have known each other since middle school.  All of these boys and I have been a part of one another's life for quite some time.  Pastor Powers and Mrs. Powers relocated to Clearwater/Tampa area a couple of years ago.  So, now all of them are over there instead of at the homefront that we all knew for ourselves growing up!

We got to Steven's house and I changed into my bikini and we hit the beach.

There really is no way to describe how amazing it was to be sitting with those 3 boys on that beach.  Life has been hard for me lately, but I find a reason to smile and laugh everyday even if it takes all my strength to do so.  With this, though, I needed no other reason.

I looked up from my verrry relaxed state in my 'low-rider' beach chair and told Frank:

I'm genuinely HAPPY!

After lots of sun, and getting the wind knocked out of me in the water by the unusually powerful waves, we stopped for supplies to make vodka tonics back at Steven's house.

Then we played pool-basketball and I lost a record number of "H-O-R-S-E" games, and then the boys cooked Chilean Sea Bass and rice for dinner.  Apparently they were still hungry though because my fast-pace to get ready was still too long in man time!

We made it out the door and were off to see a jamband showcse in St. Pete Beach at this trendy little theater.  We were all pretty beat from the beach, Bud Lights, and sea bass!

We jammed out in the car ride back to Steven's to Widespread Panic and I was finally in a place where I was enjoying good friends, familiar faces, and good music all at once!

It's funny how much music connects you with people and then re-connects you with people.

I probably wouldn't have been on that trip if I hadn't started talking 'music' with Ryan when we got to spend a lot of time together at JC's wedding in June.  For the past several months, I had been spending all of my time with someone who didn't have a very passionate love for music.  It really has played a major role in defining a lot of my friendships.

Like Lauren.

And Kathleen.

And Travis.

and I like all of those people, a lot.  And I like that their playlist don't make me want to vom.

I had some pretty awesome chats with Frank, Steven, and Ryan all together and each separately.  It's funny, too, how much everything kinda stays the same once it's all done changing so drastically.  They kept me smiling and they made me realize that I'm loved unconditionally by them and they respect me for my individuality. 

Steven was one of the founders of the infamous "Bear" nickname. 

I absolutely DO NOT get called Baily by these boys, it's hilarious...

I think Ryan and Steven are glad that I am a little Grateful Dead dancing bear these days!

I hope they know how special they are to me.

Here's to you, boys! Y'all have always made me believe that my wings were made to fly :)

peace and love

-your "Bear"