Weekend Getaway... sort of.

My little vacation-across-town was so relaxing, much needed, and a wonderful treat!  It was really fun just lounging around this Five-Star hotel.  I am a very fortunate little girl to be able to go on little get-aways like I do.  There is a downside to having a Dad who travels alot, but there are also upsides.  Some of the luxurious places I have visited would not have happened without such a hard-working father.  Since it was a conference he was attending - I was able to meet some of his colleagues and we had a wonderful time.  Plus, I got a super good tan going after 3 days of sunshine, mojitos, and cooling dips in the pool. 

Here are some pictures that I snapped to record this fun weekend:

Daddy and I are twinkies!

Always stay hydrated when the heat index is above boiling!

Hot is an understatement.

It is definitely the "Florida-version" of the original & iconic Waldorf Astoria.

I have never actually stayed at the NYC Waldorf, but it is so famous and always a stop to look around (and celebrity spy) when we visit the Big Apple.  This is the first W.A. to be built since the Manhattan landmark hotel was built.  There is one in Park City, Utah & Berlin, Germany as well.

Hope everyone had a beautiful weekend filled with good-times, sunshine, and lots of LOVE.

I almost forgot - this is pretty neat!!

This morning we received a message in the sky that was a perfect reminder for us who were skippin' out on worship this morning.  I loved it!

Remember that as you start your new week... trust in Him and He will do great things for you!

Proverbs 19:21

Many are the plans in a man's heart, but it is the Lord's purpose that prevails.

Trust him - He already has it all worked out for you! :)

peace

&

love

BAILY

Weekend Smiles

This weekend has been pretty slow-paced. 

Millie and I folded a little laundry...

I sat out in the sun and read my book,

Names My Sisters Call Me by Megan Crane,

and fell in love with this quote that was on the title page...

 I thought it was a PERFECT one for me! ;)

I hung out with good friends last night...

we went to Will's Pub in Orlando to hear American Aquarium...

I finally got a chance to talk/catch up with their lead singer BJ

who is a groovy fellow and I spent some quality time

with friends Michelle, Adam, and Anthony.

 I woke up not feeling too hot & sexy this morning...

but I felt A LOT better after I had this mid-afternoon snack!!!

 If anyone hates on Funfetti cupcakes,

then they need to have a Funfetti cupcake w/purple icing & sprinkles!

And I for sure felt better after I snuggled up on the couch

with this little one and watched college basketball all day long!

 I found this little bundle at the Dollar $tore! And if you know me then

you know what I'm about to do with it - rock  those flowers in my hair!!!

 I hope everyone is enjoying their weekend!

I can't decide if I feel up for getting out tonight or

if I just want to take it easy at home! 

I'm excited about getting up tomorrow morning and going to worship with my Mom and Dad... it's one of my favorite things about being back at home. 

Mom usually has something tasty for us to eat at breakfast on Sunday mornings

and Dad puts on some good Southern Gospel music on the family stereo

and we run around getting put together in our 'Sunday Best.' 

It's a little thing about being home... the sounds of "The Old Rugged Cross" and

"Blessed Assurance" as I get ready to go to a place of worship to spend time with my Savior - who continues to bless me and provide for me, even when I feel like I do not deserve his overwhelming love.  It is during those times that I am reminded of what an awesome family-home I grew up in that serves the Lord and gives from their heart.  I wouldn't have it any other way!!! I am so fortunate!

Tomorrow night, I am going to go to STATUS with Savannah and hopefully

learn how I can get more involved, now that the hustle & bustle of the holidays are over and the new schedule of events for the Spring have begun!

What's everyone else been up to this weekend?!?

I'm hoping it's been fun & relaxing!!!

GOD BLESS.

peace&love

baily

LOVE THE LORD AND FOLLOW HIS PLAN FOR YOUR LIVES,

CLING TO HIM AND SERVE HIM ENTHUSIASTICALLY.

Joshua 22:5

He knows when I am lonely

I’m sure everyone, at one point or another, has felt the way that I do today.   Today I thought long and hard about the difference in feeling lonely and being alone.  You'd probably agree that these two things are very very different.  You see, I look at "lonely" as a feeling, not always a circumstance.  Because the most lonely I've ever been is not when I've been in isolation - sure, those are some pretty down and out days when I don't put myself around others and experience the joy of company and conversation.  But, what I mean is that the hardest type of loneliness is when you are surrounded by people but you don't feel like they understand you or you don't know how to portray what's in your mind and in your heart because you fear that they just won't get it.  And then there is the other kind of lonely when you have someone in your life that does "get you" but they remove themselves from you without much explanation.  Certainly not the explanation or compassion that you'd think a relationship filled with "I love you's" and "You're the best thing that ever happened to me" comments would deserve.  Today, I experienced both of these feelings of loneliness.  It's not my family's fault or my friends' fault that I feel lonely at times.  It is just part of us.  We are supposed to feel loneliness to a certain extent, in my opinion, so that we know the happiness that comes from others - like friends and family. 
My loneliness today didn't last for long, though.  Something really "God-sent" happened to me - which I know was a blessing for being so disciplined in my prayer and quiet times lately.  First of all, let me tell you something exremely weird - I haven't cried.  Someone I loved dearly and considered my best friend turned their back on what a wonderful relationship we had, and I haven't cried.  This is weird because I am a girl who FEELS.  I have super-emotions!!! I am a giver, a lover, a fighter, and I DO NOT believe in giving up on someone that you share so much with.  So for me not to cry, I am astounded (in a really good way) by my strength and dignity I have shown.  But, I still hurt on the inside.  I still wonder "why" and think "I never thought someone so gentle and that adored me SO much would just quit on me" but I somehow manage not to let it get me down or keep me down for long.  I turn to the one thing that will NEVER forsake me, never give up on me, and never ever ever let me down.  His promises are kept, no matter what and he never ignores me!!!

I am so glad I have a personal relationship with the Lord.  I'm free of worry and anxiety and sadness when I look into His Word and read the beautiful truth.  That there IS A PLAN FOR ME, there is a future for me, and there is a God who I can count on while I seek this plan and future. 

So, when I started feeling misunderstood, misinterpreted, and misjudged and when the feelings of lonely starting creeping in, I opened up my book case and grabbed a wonderful devotional, "Do You Know Who I Am?" by Angela Thomas.  I kid you not, I opened the book and turned right to this page...

It was an absolute reminder from the Lord that He knows my pains, He knows me weaknesses, He knows my heart's desires.  After I sat there and took a break from my 'project' I was working on and read this chapter that I just happened to open the book up to, I took in the awesome feeling of relief and felt so many worries just fade away.  I know that I will have lonely days.  I've experienced things in my life, like the fire, that few people will understand (and that's a good thing, I don't wish that upon anyone) and I know that life is an individualistic journey and we all are different - which can sometimes make for feelings of not fitting in, feeling left out, being rejected, being sad, and being misunderstood - but I also know that the Lord will not put any type of feelings, or any circumstance, or any tragedy in our lives without also giving us the strength and ability to handle it.  That's why I was meant to open the book up to page 111, Ch. 7 titled "Do You Know I Am Lonely? He is Here." 

The Lord is close to the brokenhearted

and saves those who are crushed in spirit.

Psalm 34:18

By reading that and praying for God to help me with my loneliness, I was able to turn the pain and sadness of being lonely into a feeling of solitude. Solitude is a word intended to express the glory of being alone.  I enjoyed this quiet time... the silence, the stillness.  I was calmed... because I know He loves me, He cares for me, and He is always here. 



peace and love

baily

God will honor the woman who faces her

 loneliness and then decides to live with integrity.

My Weekend, so far...

Hello lovelies! 

I hope everyone’s weekend has been as delightful and relaxing as mine has!  The best part about it is that the weekend isn’t over yet.  So here’s to Sunday Fundays!

If your Sunday Funday includes sun-bathing,

this one has already beaten you to it.

I have gotten to spend a lot of time with some really awesome people this weekend.  I went to a nice dinner with my parents on Friday night at a local Italian restaurant, ‘Peppinos’.  It was so good & a nice change from the restaurants we usually go for.  We originally had in mind sushi and a movie, but we couldn’t get a table at ‘Sushi Pop’ so we settled on eating elsewhere and saving the movie outing for Tuesday.  Our local movie theater offers $5 movies all day on Tuesday – that’s a deal!!!  It is SO expensive to go to the movies as a family these days – geesh!

Saturday I got my new room looking a little more like “Baily” and I got some of my décor and accessories out of storage.  It feels nice to see my room start coming together.  It is especially great that I am back at home – the last place I thought I would want to be.  I am home under some pretty irregular circumstances – as far as how my life played out with school and stuff – but it is exactly where I want to be and even though I may “have it any other way” as far as the certain circumstances are concerned, but in regard to living at home right now in this phase of my life – I would NOT have it any other way.  I love it.  The neatest part is watching my sister’s room she grew up in (then Mom changed it into more of a guest room), become my own space, my area, and have it adorned in all things my style. 

I reorganized the beautiful oak bookshelf that was my great-grandfather’s and an original from the 1800’s.  It is so special, and I am glad that my mom is letting me keep it in this room.  I’ve grown quite attached to some of my great-grandmother’s quilts, as well.  I think it is because after the fire in April everything of mine was brand new… lots of things still have tags on them even, and I miss the feeling of comfort that comes from a worn pair of pants, a homemade blanket, and the smell of old books and photographs.  I have the perfect mix of my childhood, and my new life that I got to sort of “start over” with last year. 

After I got my room looking more like “me” and less like a guest room, I headed over to my friend Susan’s townhome.  I admire her so much and it’s comforting to be around these friends again.  Her boyfriend, Dean, was there and we were watching his beloved Pittsburgh Steelers play… and our other close friend Justine Positano (who I usually refer to on here as “Posi”) was there.  I loved the laid back hang-time with them… and Susan made some yummy nachos that I inhaled.  I even let Susan show me pictures of Tim Tebow in a pair of Jockey underwear… and if that isn’t a sign that I have changed my ways in some pretty drastic measures then I don’t know what will. ;)

After I left Susan’s, I stopped by Adam’s house.  He’s one of my very best friends and we have a pretty storied and special friendship.  I call him one of life’s rare gems!  I visited with him for a while, which means I laughed until it hurt, and then I went home and was asleep before midnight.  More good changes: I actually sleep since I moved home and I go to sleep early and get a healthy amount of rest - - - and trust me, my attitude totally shows it… I seem to sleep off a big chunk of “Bitchy Baily" most nights!

This morning, Momma & Daddy & I went to the 11:00 service at First Baptist Orlando.  I had mentioned in a previous post that we had visited there several times, but we felt a little young for the 9:00 service crowd, but Mom & Daddy feared the 11:00 would be too loud and contemporary for their liking.  So this morning when Mom came in my room to force a cup of coffee down my throat and get me up and in the shower, she said “we’re going to the ‘Rock n Roll service’ at First Baptist Orlando at 11:00.”  Haha… that’s what they refer to the contemporary music style – it cracks me up.  I don’t care for the real rowdy kind of praise music, but I do like a little something I can clap my hands to.  And boy did I get it…

The Watoto Children’s Choir from Uganda celebrated in a high-spirited worship this morning.  The Watoto Children’s ministry is a place that rebuilds the lives and restores hope in the lives of the 50 million-plus children who are orphaned as a result of war, HIV/AIDS, poverty, and disease in Africa.  Twenty-two absolutely beautiful children of God sang to me “I Am Not Forgotten, Jesus Knows My Name” and “Nothing Compares to Jesus” and I fell in love with this ministry.  I am DEFINITELY going to put my researchin’ boots on and see how I can help make a difference for this awesome, awesome mission.  After church, I visited the Special Guests table in the lobby and purchased a beautiful, hand-made necklace from the children at Watoto.  I am in LOVE.  I wanted to buy it all!!!

Now, I’m going to rest a little and get ready for the ALL-STAR ACOUSTIC JAM tonight.  I can’t wait!!!  Michelle and I are going to have so much fun – I am so blessed to have a friend like her in my life!  As if her positive outlook on life, her Christianity, her shared love for the ‘blogging world’, and the fact that she lives in the same neighborhood community as I do weren’t enough – God went ahead and threw in the love for good country music, too.  Now that’s what I call a bLeSSiNg!!!!  

I forgot that a lot of people have a 3-day weekend this weekend, and aren’t going back to work/school until Tuesday.  So maybe this is the winding down and end to a great weekend for you, or maybe you are living up the fact that you don’t have anywhere to be tomorrow… but I hope you’re having a great Sunday and have had a great past couple of days – I sure have!  And like I said, it ain’t over yet…

I will be sure to take some pictures of our fun night at the Hard Rock tonight!!!

Can’t wait to see what all y’all have been up to this weekend!

peace and love

baily

Today's scripture was on giving to the needy.  This verse has always helped guide me in my passions for advocacy, children with disabilities, orphans, foster children, at-risk individuals, etc.

As a Christian, it should be natural of us to GIVE, to HELP, and to MEET THE NEEDS of people who need it.  The children.  The poor.  The weak.  The disabled.  And we are to do it to glorify God, not seek attention and praise from the world or others.  Our reward will be the blessings God pours down on us when we spread His love, FOR HIM. I was so excited to see this be the topic of today's sermon at First Baptist Orlando:

"Beware of practicing your righteousness before other people in order to be seen by them, for then you will have no reward from your Father who is in heaven.  Thus, when you give to the needy, sound no trumpet before you, as the hypocrites do in the synagogues and in the streets, that they may be praised by others.  Truly, I say to you, they have received their reward.  But when you give to the needy, do not let your left hand know what your right hand is doing, so that your giving may be in secret.  And your Father who sees in secret will reward you."

Matthew 6:1-4

Something that the Pastor said that stuck out to me was this:

When you sew sparingly, you reap sparingly.  When you sew graciously, you reap graciously.  God is gracious in rewarding you with blessings. 

Is this not true???  I've found it to be very true.

Scriptured Inspiration

I've spent a lot of time in my Bible here lately.  It has always been my main source of hope, and it gives me uncomparable strength!

For two years I've battled some pretty tough fights with anxiety and depression, and it's been a struggle since my life changed with the fire in April.  But, I've also lived a very fruitful and blessed life when I was able to see past the gloom and smoke.  I have an unbreakable friendship with the Lord again and I can honestly say that I am refueled and rejuvenated every time I spend a few moments with God in the mornings.  My disciipline to have 'quiet time' everyday has definitely made a difference.  I am just a happier person these days... even when people try to break my spirit down.  I honestly think that because it is faithful to the Lord, and for the betterment of myself, no one can break this spirit of mine down. 

I continue to see the positives! 

Here are some verses that have kept my spirit up and my heart and soul full of faith!

God is great... He has provided for me and blessed me during a year full of downfalls. 

I continue on because of the promises I find in His word.

"HOPE WILL KEEP YOU HAPPY AND FULL OF PEACE."

-Romans 15:13

"IN MY DISTRESS I SCREAMED TO THE LORD FOR HIS HELP. AND HE HEARD ME FROM HEAVEN."

-Psalm 18:6

"Let me see your kindness to me in the morning, for I am trusting you. Show me where to walk, for my prayer is sincere."

-Psalm 143:8

"BE HAPPY. GROW IN CHRIST.

LIVE IN HARMONY AND PEACE."

-II Corinthians 13:11

"Your spiritual strength comes as a gift from God."

-Hebrews 13:9

"GOD IS AT WORK WITHIN YOU."

-Philippians 2:13

 

all images via weheartit

peace and love

b a i l y

Romans (my favorite!) 13:8

In my devotional today, I randomly opened up to Week 32//Friday on page 196.  Haha.  Because, I always do that.  I told my Mom the other day there was 'not a chance' that I would ever actually go IN ORDER when doing a year-long devotional.  I mean, to have my attention for a few minutes daily is a chore enough, to get me to do it in order and step-by-step.... not going to happen!!

WAAAYYYY too A.D.D.!  I think I have entertained my Mom quite a bit the past couple of weeks as she has witnessed how profound my attention defecit can be at times!  It's definitely been a strange time in my life, but I'm just a baby bird with broken wings and her Momma is getting baby bird better.  Gosh, me and my analogies - especially the bird/freebird thing.  Haha.  Anyway, I just got veered off course talking about attention defecit disorder... (ya think!?) 

Back to my devotional... I loved the scripture and if you know me and my 'saving grace' (hint: the book of Romans) then you know this one is a very favorite of mine! Romans 13:8

Let no debt remain outstanding, except the continuing debt to love one another, for he who loves his fellowman has fulfilled the law.

I love this one right now in my life!  My parents are living examples of the most unconditionally loving people I may ever know.  I've lost some really close people to me here lately, in the past few months since everything began unraveling for me, but my family and best friends have remained warriors in their faith in me and without that belief they have in me and the hope I get from it, I wouldn't be able to fight my battles every single day. 

This verse just spoke to me in so many ways and made me realize what blessings I have around me and who take me in to make sure that I do what's best for me from here on out.  4

I love how God speaks to me every morning as I go about my quiet time with Him.  He has shown me so much in recent weeks and I continue to love the life He has given me because despite the turbulence it is blessed, indeed!!!

peace and love

baily

friends make life better

Yesterday was so much fun! 

I met up with some friends...

talked A LOT (so weird, right?!)...

 and shopped 'til Mom and I dropped! 

I woke up and had my 'quiet time' and read a certain Bible verse that keeps speaking to me

as I go through this transition time in my life.  It is an excellent reminder every time I get to feeling down a bit.... it comes from Mark 5:34...

Daughter, your faith has healed you. Go in peace and be freed from your suffering.

I took a shower and went about my day, feeling so much more uplifted having read that.  I went to Coldwell Banker to meet up with my best friend, Justin, and say hello to his mom.  Justin and I then went across the street to Panera to visit and catch up on life.  We ran into some random friends and visited, then sat down to talk about all that has been going on in this crazy/beautiful life of mine.  After our visit, I couldn't help but realize how blessed I am for the wonderful friendships that I still have in this special town that I grew up in.

After I visited with Justin, I met up with my good friend Adam for lunch.  Adam has always treated me like a little sister and we have a very unique friendship.  He told me about the new girl he's seeing and I told him about the issues that surround me and my life right now, and we had a great lunch at Chili's - queso and Southwestern eggrolls.  Totally my favs!

After that I went to the outlet mall where Mom was working at the Ann Taylor store and we shopped for me some WARM clothes.  I think Dad and I are driving up to Tuscaloosa to box up a few more of my things this weekend, but it is SOOOO FREEZING in Central Florida right now.  Me no like it!  I got some great deals at Banana Republic, Express, and Forever 21.  Thank  goodness for that insurance check, because I have been able to replace a lot of things that were damaged in that fire.  I am well on my way to a great, rebuilded life!

Today I've got to take care of some chores around the house and then go have a fun day with a fellow freebird friend, Shore.  She's awesome! :)

I am so blessed with a great family and many, many wonderful friendships!

peace and love

baily

Church Shopping!!

This morning my parents and I visited First Baptist Orlando for the second weekend in a row.  We are in the process of looking for a new church home and we really love the Pastor, David Uth.  We keep finding ourselves reminding each other that each church is different - especially the music!!  Of course, I am the music-head of the family but we all know where our roots are no matter what genre we prefer nowadays.  Those roots are Southern Gospel and down home country.

So when the fancy, high-pitched voices start asingin' we have to start reminding! Haha.  Mom and Dad don't really like the fast-paced "rock 'n roll" services a.k.a. 'Contemporary Worship' and I don't really like the opera sounding stuff.  Our old church and the church we LOVE visiting with my sister and Tyler in Trussville have a perfect balance of the two - but we are finding that it is not always that way.

Nonetheless, the service was AWESOME.  It was titled 'When God Interrupts Your Life' and we learned about the Christmas story through the eyes of Joseph.  In real-world terms, when an angel tells your virgin fiance that she's carrying a baby who is God in the flesh, Joseph must have thought she was craaaazy.  I can only imagine that these days! Haha...

I really enjoyed the sermon, even though I was yawning and freezing the entire time.  I didn't get to finish my coffee this morning and Central Florida looked a lot like wintertime Alabama with the cold, grey, and rainy atmosphere that was provided this morning.  And apparently, the air conditioning in that place was set to the 4th of July, not Christmas.  SO COLD!

Tonight I am going to Status at Downtown Baptist Church with my good friend Savannah.  I just absolutely LOVE her and she has really reached out to me during my hard times.  It was definitely a 'God thing' to have run into her at the neighborhood grocery store last week.  I wasn't really in a high-spirited mood but running into her and being able to share my latest heartache with her was exactly what I needed.  And proving what a wonderful and Godly woman she is, she immediately text-messaged me and asked me to go with her to Status on Sunday nights.  I am so pumped - I definitely seek refuge in the Lord and the friends He has blessed me with.

I can't wait to share with you how much I enjoy Status!  This will be a great chance for some much-needed quality time with one of the best galfriends I've ever had!  (Thanks, Sav!)

Because of friends like her, and a family that wakes me up and goes with me to church, and a Lord that feeds me truth and wisdom - I can stand on my two feet with such a positive and healthy outlook on life.  And frankly, that's all I need!

peace and love

baily

Proverbs 17:17

A friend loves at all times.

random thoughts

Here are a few things on my mind:

I got to drive a Hyundai Sonata around town the past couple of days while my friends in the service department fixed buster.  I actually really loved driving this car!  It brought me back to the good ol' days when I thought I owned those Florida and Alabama roads in my Honda Accord Coupe.  I loooved that little black car.  I think I just might be a car girl, at least until I can afford to drive some sweet Yukon or Jeep Commander.  Maybe one day! 

I'm going absolutely haywire with an excessive intake of this stuff since it is cold, rainy, and lonely here this week. 

Mexican Hot Chocolate! Yummy :)

and for those of you who aren't sure... Abuelita means Grandmother. 

(I have the best abuelitas in the world: Mamaw and Nana)

I'm beginning to get anxious, as much as I have tried to subside it, about where I am going to be in the near future, far future, and all the inbetweens.  I am fortunate for everything I have learned so far, and I am ready to learn the many things that await me somewhere else.  I have a good idea about who I am going to share this next part of my journey with and that alone is an incredible peace of mind.  I consider it one of the richest blessings because it makes the uncertainty of a lot of things okay to handle.  So, again - like I always say, thanks to the family and friends and the extraordinary love that I have found with my new best friend because without them nothing is really possible and I stand firm in that belief always.

I was a pretty good vet earlier today!  I guessed right (well my iGoogle homepage helped me out) but we are going to get little Millie taken care of and back to feeling better.  Bless her heart, she was such a doll in the vet clinic.  Here are a couple of pics!



She's going to be ok!

I hope everyone has a good night, stays out of the rain, and stays warm - I have a feeling that the Alabama winter is creeping in!

Ready for Florida.... my home sweet home.

James 1:12

Blessed is the man who perseveres under trial, because when he has stood the test, he will receive the crown of life that God has promised to those that love Him.

peace and love

baily

inspiration

Hello! It's Wednesday!

Happy 'Hump' Day

hey Friday, hurry up - will ya?!

I was approached by one of my good friends from the College of Communication and Information Sciences a few days ago.

She was a dear friend who helped me out in more ways than I probably ever expressed to her.

I always enjoyed being around her because she wasn't in the same group of 55 girls that went with me

to pledge parties and sorority 'swaps.' She wasn't a Tri-Delta but I took to her freshmen year

because she had a lively spirit and a Godly soul and I always wanted to be around her.

Thus, when I have a chance to see her - I usually get excited because I know she is going to inspire me to think outside the box and find ways I can put all mypassions together to live one very passionate life!

So, when I ran into her the other day, I was so excited that she was reading my blog!

She also told me that I would always be a journalist in her eyes - as if I don't hear that enough!

I assured her that what I was doing in my career was what I felt led to do.

(I told her of the day I was in my car driving down the road and had to pull over because I felt

so moved by something. I immediately hung up the phone and called the boy I was dating at the time to

tell him that I planned to switch my major in Journalism and my minor in Public Relations to a major in Child Development and Early Education and a minor in Family Studies.)

She said, "well that sounds like a lot more fun than CLEVELAND!"

Yes, I once fell in love with a boy and told him I'd move to Cleveland if that was what was in store for his/our future.  Looking back on that today, the way I felt when I said that, I would have moved to South Dakota for him. But, seasons change, so do cities.

It's weird looking back on all the hopes and dreams I had over the past 5 years. I've gone through some phases - some high's and low's and I think that the biggest feat I've ever had is that I'm still standing.

She asked me how I was doing since the fire. A lot of people no longer ask me this question because they have seen me day in and day out or keep in touch with me on a regular basis, so "fire talk" isn't really the conversational content with those people usually. Talking about the fire on a serious level usually happens few and far between. But, when it does, it always happens with me saying..

''alright, enough... I don't really talk about this that much.''

Where others might disagree - because I tended to de-stress when I needed to, and failed to notice who was around me and who else I was stressing out (I just thought that was part of friendships and relationships).  And it is, to a certain extent.  I just wish I would have talked on that 'serious level' sooner

so that maybe some of the stress would have subdued itself by now.

My friend, the quirky journalist girl who lives the dream of spaghetti-o's and a cramped apartment in New York City.  Ahhhh, to a writer - that IS the dream.

Except I might have to take it to the West Coast and be a San Francisco writer.

The Big Apple overwhelms me.

She's inspired me to really pray about what I want to do and what I want my hobby to be.

Obviously, I want to play a role in making a positive and life-changing difference in children with disabilities.

I want to make the world a better place by showing people that love doesn't stop when an extra chromosome is thrown into the mix, and we should love all of God's creations.

I want to write. But I want to write about what I want to write about, not some bia of an editor.

And I want to glorify Christ in all that I do.

You know what the Carrie Bradshaw told me? (Even though she's so much like Charlotte!)

Why don't you make another blog and make it about something totally specified.

I told her of my sports blog, but she says even though I have an insane amount of football and basketball knowledge for a girl my age, that I have lived a far more interesting life.

She said,

"You're a liver. You aren't one of those girls that has stood on the sidelines. You have no idea the amount of respect that so many people have for you. I knew you weren't going to hold a microphone in your face on the sidelines of Thursday night football games. You knew it too - that is SO not Baily Jones!"

I have never had such a compliment be said to me at such a right time.

When I was told I had compromised myself, or settled into a life I didn't really want, or that I had lost strength and drive, I am reminded by people that didn't even see me go through what I went through from a zoomed in view like some, but yet they know what my heart is and they know my potential.

I still wake up in the middle of the night and want to scream out and ask 'why me?'

I want so badly to look into the same blue-green eyes and promise them I haven't lost ambition or drive.

I want to take a reallllyyyy long nap, so that I won't be as tired and irritable - but no time for that!

Hence, why I'm in this little whirl-wind right now.

But I just wanted to express how much that meant to me. And how much I really am going to pray about an even more detailed direction in life now that I am closer to graduating, and whether I like it or not - I'm a one man show and I can make the best of it.

I do feel like the past two weeks I have learned a lot about Baily. I learned that in every decision I have made, I made it for myself. It's easier to sleep at night knowing I haven't disappointed anyone but myself. And I forgive myself a lot more than others are willing to forgive me.

I know, because I've walked a mile in a lot of unfortunate pairs of shoes. The painful ones, the dreary ones, the happy ones, the ridiculous ones, etc. I know that some things I have done along the way have been wrong, but I choose to do what the Lord does and 'feel' and find forgiveness for others rather than working solely on principle. If I had made every decision, or turned every person away based solely on principle I would not be known as the girl that is a liver. I wouldn't be the go-getter. I'd play it safe, and stand on the sideline and watch life go by. It's so much more fun to play the game and to play the game with people you love most because that's what it's all about - in my opinion.

And what's exciting is that there are other peope who share that same belief with me.

I know I won't meet these friends and lovers by standing on the sidelines, though...

so put me in, Coach. I'm ready to play!

Love life and Life with love you back!

peace and love

baily

What a happy little piglet-dog!

She loved swimming at Oak Mountain State Park when

me, mom, dad, ashley, and tyler brought the dogs there.

She's such a smiler! And she loves to pose!

Daily Quiet Time Scripture

Proverbs 11:8-9

"The righteous is delivered from trouble,

and the wicked walks into it instead.

With his mouth the godless man would destroy

his neighbor, but by knowledge the

righetous are delivered."

tests and testimonies

So, how bad did you miss me? I haven't realized how non-bloggy I've been lately. I promise, I've been keeping busy with school and somewhat of a social life. Plus, I went on my trip to my hometown for my best friend's wedding. It was beautiful, and I will be sure to blog about it soon.  What's so crazy, is that at the wedding I learned about all of these readers of my blog that I wasn't exactly aware of. I think it's so cool that people are reading what I write, even if they don't sign up for a Google account to be my "follower"... cough cough! But, really, hello to everyone that reads about my beautiful and tragic life as a twenty-something year old!! Haha... any new readers... proceed with caution!!

My sissy over at Moonpies and Fireflies has been getting her blog off to a good start with the 30-Day Challenge thing. It's so weird how I was getting into the 30-Day Challenge and was on like Day 7 or something when the fire flipped my world upside down... don'tcha think? You know what's even weirder... that the day before the fire the prompt was to write about a picture that made you sad. I posted a picture of one of our military veterans that is living homeless in our country right now. That does make me sad, even more now than ever, but it's funny to think how mysterious God really is in his ways. The day before the fire I was crying out for sympathy for the homeless Americans who have nothing to their name. The many Americans that aren't as fortunate as I am and don't get to replace all their belongings with an insurance claims check. The fire that took their possessions, literally took their possessions. I remember thinking about fire victims that very day. Because, remember?? I kept making comments earlier that weekend that I have no fire alarm in my room or fire estinguisher in my house. I was almost fearful of the fire before it even happened. Is that what made me handle it so well? Is that why I knew to just get everyone and all the dogs out of the house and to not go save that pile of David Yurman that was dancing in the line of fire?

I guess so. Seems mysterious. Must be God.

Just like the blog I wrote that very day about my faith and how God always does something huge and very trying in order to strengthen my relationship with him. Strange, huh? He was preparing me.  In all the ways - physically, mentally, emotionally, and spiritually. Duh - I get it now... pretty sneaky there, God!

I wish I could put it into words, the way that I feel day in and day out. I really can't, but the best way I've come to describe it is that I'm living in a twilight zone. I literally live each day from start to finish and worry about the next when it comes. Lately, I've been better about responsibly planning ahead as far as studying and work because of how my school/internship started at the beginning of the month, but ever since the fire it has really just felt like I'm living in a whole different world than before. Spiritually, mentally, physically. Nothing in my room was here before the fire. Everything is new, borrowed, or thrifted. New pictures, new clothes, new bedding, new journals, new books. It's a very odd feeling.

Like, I said earlier, when I was at home I learned about all of these friends of my parents' that read my blog. A couple of my mom's friends and mom's of some of my own friends (that's a tongue twister) would let me introduce them to Chace before they'd say, "oh, I know who that is, I read about him all the time!!" He would just wink at me because he just eats it up when people say I should have stuck with journalism or if I'm complimented on my writing in any way. See, Chace has always pictured me as this spunky little sports' journalist or this free-spirited creative writer that can turn any prompt into something. He is soooo much like my dad, by the way. Freaky deaky. Dad sees me being a writer one day, too.  He thinks all of my passions for developmental disorders, advocacy, writing, campaigns, feminism, etc. can come together and make a rewarding career. Ever since he put that idea in my head of putting my passions together rather than chosing between them, I have been eager to see what I can do or what difference I can make once I have that opportunity. But, not yet. Remember... one day at a time. That's how it goes here in The Twilight Zone.

Speaking of taking it one day at a time, let me just tell one more story about that mysterious Man. The fire happened on a Tuesday the 13th (lucky 13, huh?) and on Sunday the 11th of April, I went to First Baptist Trussville with my sissy, her hubs, Momma, Daddy, Nana, and Papaw. I kept ranting and raving about their Pastor, Buddy Champion. I kept saying how I loved that series he kicked off that day called "iStress" and how I was going to come back and hear him preach that series. It was about stress and how the best "app" for the stresses in life was the Bible. I highlighted the scripture (which was mostly Psalm 23, but a few others), dated it, marked it with the series name and cited Buddy Champion as the preacher. Next to it was my sixth grade handwriting and the date that a church member told me to always refer to Psalm 23 when I was scared about the cancer that threatened my Dad. To this day, I'll never forget that moment when Mark and Janice McCallister prayed with my family at Wednesday night supper and Janice told me that passage. And years from now I will still remember how protected by the Lord I felt when I realized one of the other Bible verses that I highlighted that day, April 11th, was also the ending verse to a passage that would be read to me the morning after the fire and that I would cling to in the days, weeks, now months after that dreaded night of April 13th.

Matthew 6:34 Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own.
( see the entire passage I have cited in my new Bible as "my fire passage" by clicking on the link: Do Not Worry (Matthew 6:25-34, NIV) )

My sister read it to me that Wednesday morning as we drove to the fire department to pick up the fire report from the night before. I already had goosebumps from the passage before it, and then as the last verse was read, I felt a vivid awakening from the Lord. He was protecting me, and I was going to be okay. I sifted through ash and soot, I showered and turned the bath water dark grey, I went to Wal-Mart with limited complaining, I slaved in the laundry mat, I wrote list after list after list, I shopped, I studied, I commuted, I missed my dog, I missed my things, I missed friends, I missed my life. I cried. I screamed. I did it all. And you know what? I was ok. I had just been reminded that Psalm 23 can get me through the stress that iStressed. I didn't worry about the next day, I just got through the one that had been given to me. I made quiet time and reading the Bible a very big part of each of those days, though, and that's why I wasn't lying when I answered everyone this weekend when they asked how I was doing and how I've handled it so well. I told them I'm fine, because I am, even though my life could set the scene for an Alfred Hitchcock movie. And I've been able to get through it because I cling to that old rugged cross. Me and Alan Jackson's playlist on my computer belt out his 'Precious Memories' album. All those old Southern Gospel songs... love 'em. I still scream my Janis, but I haven't had to in a while. I still love my girl, don't get me wrong, but I've been in more of a Gospel and Beatles singing mode these days. Janis was always sad... or being a hard@$$ so I haven't had to be in that mood really. The way I look at things from within The Twilight Zone is this - if I'm going to start over, jump into this new beginning, clean slate, fresh start, then shouldn't I use this as that turning point I so often longed for before the fire?? I mean, in my head I couldn't wait to get out of school so I could start over. I'd join a church up here, I'd start going to a Sunday school class, and so forth.  But when I went home for Spring Break, I stayed for the second sermon that morning because I was so moved by it the first time, I needed to hear it again. I was being preached to as if I was the only person in the building besides Pastor Mercer that morning, both services. This was the first tug at my heart to better my life at that time, instead of waiting for a fresh start after graduation. The tugging on my heart, the closeness I feel to God, it all started at Spring Break in my hometown church on Sunday March 14th. A month of drawing closer to him and a month of preparing me for a fire that was going to change my life forever. Mysteriously comforting.

I might just have to add this testimony to my list of passions up there. Maybe I can write a book about it. "The Beautiful and Tragic Life of a Twenty-Something Year Old... and the fire that made it more tragic and even more beautiful." Probably no 'Best-Seller' but if Hitchcock were still alive, he'd dig it.

peaceandlove

baily jordan