I'm Home

I'm going through one of those transitional phases again. 

The road started getting bumpy again so I shifted gears.  But now - I am enjoying a much smoother ride.  I have made some changes in my self, in my lifestyle, and in the company I keep.  To say the least, the more positive environment and social circle I have planted myself in is definitely reaping the positive rewards. 

I am not saying that my "smooth ride" is anything like the movie scenes where I'm driving off into a sunset in my Thunderbird and RayBans with the western winds blowing through my hair...

This little free-bird isn't flying that high yet -- but that's not to say I won't be rockin' and rollin' here soon!

Like I said... this is another one of my times of transition.  I never leave a phase of changing without being transformed, renewed, and spiritually uplifted. 

I know times of upheaval to be truly refining.
I know struggle to be one of the roads to success.
I know change as a revolution.

Pray for me as I begin a new phase in my life.  I am getting involved and taking the next step toward membership to First Baptist Orlando.  I have met some wonderful people and put my trust in an amazing counselor at the church who is going to help me get involved, find the 'Baily' that I know is still in there, and get me on the right-track to finishing my degree, starting my career, and chasing down the things that will complete me.  I took a step in the direction that God revealed to me through diligent prayer, and it has already brought such comfort, peace, and joy. 

The Lord put loving people in my life to remind me of the love He has for me.  He sent me an advisor and mentor that I look up to that believes in me, prays over me, and wants to help me in achieving the dreams I have for my future.  Peers that just met me have sent their love and compassion and remind me that I am young and have lots of time to get back on the solid ground that I want and need to be on. 

Prayers have been answered lately and I am experiencing the remarkable peace that comes from that!

Thank you to those that have prayed for me during my hard times.  Especially to those that have prayed for me to find a church home.  I didn't share the hurt and pain that came from leaving my childhood church-home last year, but the ones that I did share it with were reverent in their prayer and support.  They helped me "church shop", they ushered me into their own churches when I felt betrayed by my own, and they accompanied me to events, social functions, and sermons that they may not have gone to if they did not care & want to help me find the "fit" that I have desperately needed.  These friends who have supported me in this way knew how bad I was hurt by my home-church's lack of care and concern for what I had gone through last year. 

Now, knowing and seeing what my former church does for many others - I know that they are a group of good people and a service organization that does wonderful and magnificent things in all parts of the world, but that's just it.  Sometimes being that way can get a little corporate & business-like and the personal and individual tribulations of the members seem to be forgotten, avoided, and unattended to. I was moreso in emotional pain not because they didn't open their arms and do the things for me that, say - First Baptist Trussville did (my Sis' church), but I was harmed (and indefinitely scarred) by the slamming of the door and turning of their backs. It hurt, because for so long I spent every Sunday, Wednesday, and any other day the church door was opened at that small-town Baptist church!  The same home-church I watched on TV from my little college bedroom in Tuscaloosa, Alabama.  Yeah... the little college bedroom off Paul Bryant Drive that burnt down in a matter of 5 minutes and took everything that reminded me of "Baily" last April and I never heard a peep from my pastors, mentors, and well - a lot of friends I grew up closely with in my time there.  I'm sorry, but I really did expect my church of 13 years to comfort me and be "the caring place" that they claim to be.  But it didn't happen and it only got worse for me.

So thank you, Dr. David Uth, for leading such a wonderful church family at First Baptist Orlando.  Thank you for hugging my neck without even knowing me and then finding me after the service to talk with me and learn more about me: my fire, the Tuscaloosa tornadoes, my need for a church home, my depression/anxiety, my family and my favorite Bible passage.  I had a conversation with the leader of the largest church in Central Florida and he genuinely cared about ME.  He invited me to hang out, get to know him, and stop by one day when I'm in the counseling department and say hello & have a cup of coffee!  I was astounded... I grew up with my former pastor's children and he would look in my direction and look down at the ground as he passed me in the church atrium.  It is like night and day and I am happier than ever when I walk through the doors of First Orlando.  I am excited about going to church again!  I don't care that it's a 25 minute drive and not a mile and half, 3 minute drive.  I don't care that there are a gazillion redlights and a handful of toll-booths between Dr. David Uth & First Orlando and I, and that there was only 2 small-town traffic lights between First Baptist Oviedo and I.  The distance is vice-versa when it comes to friendship, compassion, and mutual respect for one another. 

I am sort of sorry for saying this so bluntly, but to be honest - I'm really not.  I feel the message on their end was a little blunt, as well.  I expected concern out of my former church family when I hit rock-bottom... I didn't expect looks of discernment and gossip behind my back.  I did not expect these people we thought were so wonderful to turn their backs on my parents after all we had shared together.  But it happened and you can't always understand why God works so darn mysteriously - but He does.  Every season of change is a revolution, a transformation, and a time of growth.  There's a time to hold on and a time to let go.  I am glad we let God guide us during this season of up's and down's. 

I am glad that I am in the process of becoming an active member at First Baptist Church of Orlando. Pastor David Uth said it best to me at church on Sunday during our chat... 

"Welcome Home, Baily."

Hearing that, especially from the church's leader, felt so good.

It felt like I was at home.

peace&love

baily 

My Weekend, so far...

Hello lovelies! 

I hope everyone’s weekend has been as delightful and relaxing as mine has!  The best part about it is that the weekend isn’t over yet.  So here’s to Sunday Fundays!

If your Sunday Funday includes sun-bathing,

this one has already beaten you to it.

I have gotten to spend a lot of time with some really awesome people this weekend.  I went to a nice dinner with my parents on Friday night at a local Italian restaurant, ‘Peppinos’.  It was so good & a nice change from the restaurants we usually go for.  We originally had in mind sushi and a movie, but we couldn’t get a table at ‘Sushi Pop’ so we settled on eating elsewhere and saving the movie outing for Tuesday.  Our local movie theater offers $5 movies all day on Tuesday – that’s a deal!!!  It is SO expensive to go to the movies as a family these days – geesh!

Saturday I got my new room looking a little more like “Baily” and I got some of my décor and accessories out of storage.  It feels nice to see my room start coming together.  It is especially great that I am back at home – the last place I thought I would want to be.  I am home under some pretty irregular circumstances – as far as how my life played out with school and stuff – but it is exactly where I want to be and even though I may “have it any other way” as far as the certain circumstances are concerned, but in regard to living at home right now in this phase of my life – I would NOT have it any other way.  I love it.  The neatest part is watching my sister’s room she grew up in (then Mom changed it into more of a guest room), become my own space, my area, and have it adorned in all things my style. 

I reorganized the beautiful oak bookshelf that was my great-grandfather’s and an original from the 1800’s.  It is so special, and I am glad that my mom is letting me keep it in this room.  I’ve grown quite attached to some of my great-grandmother’s quilts, as well.  I think it is because after the fire in April everything of mine was brand new… lots of things still have tags on them even, and I miss the feeling of comfort that comes from a worn pair of pants, a homemade blanket, and the smell of old books and photographs.  I have the perfect mix of my childhood, and my new life that I got to sort of “start over” with last year. 

After I got my room looking more like “me” and less like a guest room, I headed over to my friend Susan’s townhome.  I admire her so much and it’s comforting to be around these friends again.  Her boyfriend, Dean, was there and we were watching his beloved Pittsburgh Steelers play… and our other close friend Justine Positano (who I usually refer to on here as “Posi”) was there.  I loved the laid back hang-time with them… and Susan made some yummy nachos that I inhaled.  I even let Susan show me pictures of Tim Tebow in a pair of Jockey underwear… and if that isn’t a sign that I have changed my ways in some pretty drastic measures then I don’t know what will. ;)

After I left Susan’s, I stopped by Adam’s house.  He’s one of my very best friends and we have a pretty storied and special friendship.  I call him one of life’s rare gems!  I visited with him for a while, which means I laughed until it hurt, and then I went home and was asleep before midnight.  More good changes: I actually sleep since I moved home and I go to sleep early and get a healthy amount of rest - - - and trust me, my attitude totally shows it… I seem to sleep off a big chunk of “Bitchy Baily" most nights!

This morning, Momma & Daddy & I went to the 11:00 service at First Baptist Orlando.  I had mentioned in a previous post that we had visited there several times, but we felt a little young for the 9:00 service crowd, but Mom & Daddy feared the 11:00 would be too loud and contemporary for their liking.  So this morning when Mom came in my room to force a cup of coffee down my throat and get me up and in the shower, she said “we’re going to the ‘Rock n Roll service’ at First Baptist Orlando at 11:00.”  Haha… that’s what they refer to the contemporary music style – it cracks me up.  I don’t care for the real rowdy kind of praise music, but I do like a little something I can clap my hands to.  And boy did I get it…

The Watoto Children’s Choir from Uganda celebrated in a high-spirited worship this morning.  The Watoto Children’s ministry is a place that rebuilds the lives and restores hope in the lives of the 50 million-plus children who are orphaned as a result of war, HIV/AIDS, poverty, and disease in Africa.  Twenty-two absolutely beautiful children of God sang to me “I Am Not Forgotten, Jesus Knows My Name” and “Nothing Compares to Jesus” and I fell in love with this ministry.  I am DEFINITELY going to put my researchin’ boots on and see how I can help make a difference for this awesome, awesome mission.  After church, I visited the Special Guests table in the lobby and purchased a beautiful, hand-made necklace from the children at Watoto.  I am in LOVE.  I wanted to buy it all!!!

Now, I’m going to rest a little and get ready for the ALL-STAR ACOUSTIC JAM tonight.  I can’t wait!!!  Michelle and I are going to have so much fun – I am so blessed to have a friend like her in my life!  As if her positive outlook on life, her Christianity, her shared love for the ‘blogging world’, and the fact that she lives in the same neighborhood community as I do weren’t enough – God went ahead and threw in the love for good country music, too.  Now that’s what I call a bLeSSiNg!!!!  

I forgot that a lot of people have a 3-day weekend this weekend, and aren’t going back to work/school until Tuesday.  So maybe this is the winding down and end to a great weekend for you, or maybe you are living up the fact that you don’t have anywhere to be tomorrow… but I hope you’re having a great Sunday and have had a great past couple of days – I sure have!  And like I said, it ain’t over yet…

I will be sure to take some pictures of our fun night at the Hard Rock tonight!!!

Can’t wait to see what all y’all have been up to this weekend!

peace and love

baily

Today's scripture was on giving to the needy.  This verse has always helped guide me in my passions for advocacy, children with disabilities, orphans, foster children, at-risk individuals, etc.

As a Christian, it should be natural of us to GIVE, to HELP, and to MEET THE NEEDS of people who need it.  The children.  The poor.  The weak.  The disabled.  And we are to do it to glorify God, not seek attention and praise from the world or others.  Our reward will be the blessings God pours down on us when we spread His love, FOR HIM. I was so excited to see this be the topic of today's sermon at First Baptist Orlando:

"Beware of practicing your righteousness before other people in order to be seen by them, for then you will have no reward from your Father who is in heaven.  Thus, when you give to the needy, sound no trumpet before you, as the hypocrites do in the synagogues and in the streets, that they may be praised by others.  Truly, I say to you, they have received their reward.  But when you give to the needy, do not let your left hand know what your right hand is doing, so that your giving may be in secret.  And your Father who sees in secret will reward you."

Matthew 6:1-4

Something that the Pastor said that stuck out to me was this:

When you sew sparingly, you reap sparingly.  When you sew graciously, you reap graciously.  God is gracious in rewarding you with blessings. 

Is this not true???  I've found it to be very true.

Church Shopping!!

This morning my parents and I visited First Baptist Orlando for the second weekend in a row.  We are in the process of looking for a new church home and we really love the Pastor, David Uth.  We keep finding ourselves reminding each other that each church is different - especially the music!!  Of course, I am the music-head of the family but we all know where our roots are no matter what genre we prefer nowadays.  Those roots are Southern Gospel and down home country.

So when the fancy, high-pitched voices start asingin' we have to start reminding! Haha.  Mom and Dad don't really like the fast-paced "rock 'n roll" services a.k.a. 'Contemporary Worship' and I don't really like the opera sounding stuff.  Our old church and the church we LOVE visiting with my sister and Tyler in Trussville have a perfect balance of the two - but we are finding that it is not always that way.

Nonetheless, the service was AWESOME.  It was titled 'When God Interrupts Your Life' and we learned about the Christmas story through the eyes of Joseph.  In real-world terms, when an angel tells your virgin fiance that she's carrying a baby who is God in the flesh, Joseph must have thought she was craaaazy.  I can only imagine that these days! Haha...

I really enjoyed the sermon, even though I was yawning and freezing the entire time.  I didn't get to finish my coffee this morning and Central Florida looked a lot like wintertime Alabama with the cold, grey, and rainy atmosphere that was provided this morning.  And apparently, the air conditioning in that place was set to the 4th of July, not Christmas.  SO COLD!

Tonight I am going to Status at Downtown Baptist Church with my good friend Savannah.  I just absolutely LOVE her and she has really reached out to me during my hard times.  It was definitely a 'God thing' to have run into her at the neighborhood grocery store last week.  I wasn't really in a high-spirited mood but running into her and being able to share my latest heartache with her was exactly what I needed.  And proving what a wonderful and Godly woman she is, she immediately text-messaged me and asked me to go with her to Status on Sunday nights.  I am so pumped - I definitely seek refuge in the Lord and the friends He has blessed me with.

I can't wait to share with you how much I enjoy Status!  This will be a great chance for some much-needed quality time with one of the best galfriends I've ever had!  (Thanks, Sav!)

Because of friends like her, and a family that wakes me up and goes with me to church, and a Lord that feeds me truth and wisdom - I can stand on my two feet with such a positive and healthy outlook on life.  And frankly, that's all I need!

peace and love

baily

Proverbs 17:17

A friend loves at all times.