song on repeat - my girl miranda

"More Like Her"

She's beautiful, in her simple little way.

She don't have too much to say when she gets mad.

She understands, she don't let go of anything.

Even when the pain gets really bad.

I guess I should've been more like that.

You had it all, for a pretty little while.

And somehow you made me smile when I was sad.

You took a chance on a bruised and beaten heart,

And then you realized you wanted what you had.

I guess I should've been more like that.

I should have held on to my pride.

I should have never let you lie.

I guess you got what you deserve.

I guess I should've been more like her.

Forgiving you, she's stronger than I am.

you don't look much like a man from where I'm at,

It's plain to see desperation shown its truth

you love her and she loves you with all she has

I guess I should've been more like that.

I should have held on to my pride.

I should have never let you lie.

I guess you got what you deserve.

I guess I should've been more like her.

She's beautiful, in her simple little way.

-Miranda Lambert

I freaking love her. She's so awesome.

Blake Shelton ADORES her and I want a boy that looks at me that way!

One of the most special people in my life is named Adam Sanford. He took me to

what was supposed to be a weekend of a Coldplay concert and a Kenny Chesney concert (Miranda Lambert/Lady Antebellum) on two different nights in Tampa.

It was this time last year, actually. SO FUN!

Except Chris Martin, Coldplay's lead singer, got the flu and the show couldn't go on.

On the night of the Kenny show (at the Ford Ampitheater in Tampa) it was the biggest rainstorm I've ever seen in my entire life.  But, just in time for MIRANDA, he had a Coors Light in my hand and I was boot scootin' in my Daisy Dukes to what I believe to be

one of the coolest country music girls ever.

If you know me, no matter what kind of feminist activist I can be at times, I'm just not that big on the girls - Shania, Faith, Carrie - none of them do it for the way she does.

I think she's just REAL.

She was hammered, in her Daisy Dukes, and a Texas Football t-shirt when she got on stage to open up for Kenny Chesney.

She said, "Y'all aren't the only ones gettin' drunk while waiting out this storm!"

Then she busted out White Liar which has become my friends' fav to blast in the car with me

Rock on, girl.

"Hey white liar, the truth comes out a little a time. And it spreads just like a fire, slips off of your tongue like turpentine. And I don't know why, white liar."

PEACE and LOVE

BAILY

"Here's a bombshell just for you, turns out I've been lying too."

And since I have blog friends from everywhere,

and because I am a proud

S O U T H E R N   G I R L 

I am going to put my favorite <country> song at the moment's lyrics

 on a new post above this one! 

 (and since my bff from home is from New York but

takes to Southern things because of ME and

 I love her and I know she would appreciate this song's lyrics...

so check my next post, Mandy!)

dear mom and dad,

you know how you like to joke that

i'm one part hippie, one part country-girl?

i'd like these for my bday please.

23 in 23 days!

inspiration

Hello! It's Wednesday!

Happy 'Hump' Day

hey Friday, hurry up - will ya?!

I was approached by one of my good friends from the College of Communication and Information Sciences a few days ago.

She was a dear friend who helped me out in more ways than I probably ever expressed to her.

I always enjoyed being around her because she wasn't in the same group of 55 girls that went with me

to pledge parties and sorority 'swaps.' She wasn't a Tri-Delta but I took to her freshmen year

because she had a lively spirit and a Godly soul and I always wanted to be around her.

Thus, when I have a chance to see her - I usually get excited because I know she is going to inspire me to think outside the box and find ways I can put all mypassions together to live one very passionate life!

So, when I ran into her the other day, I was so excited that she was reading my blog!

She also told me that I would always be a journalist in her eyes - as if I don't hear that enough!

I assured her that what I was doing in my career was what I felt led to do.

(I told her of the day I was in my car driving down the road and had to pull over because I felt

so moved by something. I immediately hung up the phone and called the boy I was dating at the time to

tell him that I planned to switch my major in Journalism and my minor in Public Relations to a major in Child Development and Early Education and a minor in Family Studies.)

She said, "well that sounds like a lot more fun than CLEVELAND!"

Yes, I once fell in love with a boy and told him I'd move to Cleveland if that was what was in store for his/our future.  Looking back on that today, the way I felt when I said that, I would have moved to South Dakota for him. But, seasons change, so do cities.

It's weird looking back on all the hopes and dreams I had over the past 5 years. I've gone through some phases - some high's and low's and I think that the biggest feat I've ever had is that I'm still standing.

She asked me how I was doing since the fire. A lot of people no longer ask me this question because they have seen me day in and day out or keep in touch with me on a regular basis, so "fire talk" isn't really the conversational content with those people usually. Talking about the fire on a serious level usually happens few and far between. But, when it does, it always happens with me saying..

''alright, enough... I don't really talk about this that much.''

Where others might disagree - because I tended to de-stress when I needed to, and failed to notice who was around me and who else I was stressing out (I just thought that was part of friendships and relationships).  And it is, to a certain extent.  I just wish I would have talked on that 'serious level' sooner

so that maybe some of the stress would have subdued itself by now.

My friend, the quirky journalist girl who lives the dream of spaghetti-o's and a cramped apartment in New York City.  Ahhhh, to a writer - that IS the dream.

Except I might have to take it to the West Coast and be a San Francisco writer.

The Big Apple overwhelms me.

She's inspired me to really pray about what I want to do and what I want my hobby to be.

Obviously, I want to play a role in making a positive and life-changing difference in children with disabilities.

I want to make the world a better place by showing people that love doesn't stop when an extra chromosome is thrown into the mix, and we should love all of God's creations.

I want to write. But I want to write about what I want to write about, not some bia of an editor.

And I want to glorify Christ in all that I do.

You know what the Carrie Bradshaw told me? (Even though she's so much like Charlotte!)

Why don't you make another blog and make it about something totally specified.

I told her of my sports blog, but she says even though I have an insane amount of football and basketball knowledge for a girl my age, that I have lived a far more interesting life.

She said,

"You're a liver. You aren't one of those girls that has stood on the sidelines. You have no idea the amount of respect that so many people have for you. I knew you weren't going to hold a microphone in your face on the sidelines of Thursday night football games. You knew it too - that is SO not Baily Jones!"

I have never had such a compliment be said to me at such a right time.

When I was told I had compromised myself, or settled into a life I didn't really want, or that I had lost strength and drive, I am reminded by people that didn't even see me go through what I went through from a zoomed in view like some, but yet they know what my heart is and they know my potential.

I still wake up in the middle of the night and want to scream out and ask 'why me?'

I want so badly to look into the same blue-green eyes and promise them I haven't lost ambition or drive.

I want to take a reallllyyyy long nap, so that I won't be as tired and irritable - but no time for that!

Hence, why I'm in this little whirl-wind right now.

But I just wanted to express how much that meant to me. And how much I really am going to pray about an even more detailed direction in life now that I am closer to graduating, and whether I like it or not - I'm a one man show and I can make the best of it.

I do feel like the past two weeks I have learned a lot about Baily. I learned that in every decision I have made, I made it for myself. It's easier to sleep at night knowing I haven't disappointed anyone but myself. And I forgive myself a lot more than others are willing to forgive me.

I know, because I've walked a mile in a lot of unfortunate pairs of shoes. The painful ones, the dreary ones, the happy ones, the ridiculous ones, etc. I know that some things I have done along the way have been wrong, but I choose to do what the Lord does and 'feel' and find forgiveness for others rather than working solely on principle. If I had made every decision, or turned every person away based solely on principle I would not be known as the girl that is a liver. I wouldn't be the go-getter. I'd play it safe, and stand on the sideline and watch life go by. It's so much more fun to play the game and to play the game with people you love most because that's what it's all about - in my opinion.

And what's exciting is that there are other peope who share that same belief with me.

I know I won't meet these friends and lovers by standing on the sidelines, though...

so put me in, Coach. I'm ready to play!

Love life and Life with love you back!

peace and love

baily

What a happy little piglet-dog!

She loved swimming at Oak Mountain State Park when

me, mom, dad, ashley, and tyler brought the dogs there.

She's such a smiler! And she loves to pose!

Daily Quiet Time Scripture

Proverbs 11:8-9

"The righteous is delivered from trouble,

and the wicked walks into it instead.

With his mouth the godless man would destroy

his neighbor, but by knowledge the

righetous are delivered."

here's my thoughts.. make of it what you want

I guess no one else will really understand what I'm saying, but I'm going to write it anyway.

So take this what you will. I've tended to be a little scatter-brained lately.

Because as if life wasn't hard enough.

Life went and put another 'KICK ME' sticker on my back.

But it's okay because I also tend to get the last laugh when things happen.

But this one was kind of like in Forrest Gump when he gets wounded in Vietnam.

It just came up in bit me.

I mean, I knew I was in a war-zone.

But I wasn't sure I was going to get shot right in the ass like that.

The war-zone I'm referring to has been this summer, in general.

Starting on that fateful night of mine - April 13th.

It's been more like a hurricane than any other type of natural disaster, my summer has.

Because I'm from F L O R I D A and I know that it's like to

hold on tight for the rain that never stops,

the winds that knock you on your ass,

and the lights that go out in 'paradise.'

So my summer hurricane started with the fire...

And ended with me feeling some of the same creepy and eery feelings that I felt then.

A little lost - but excited about being lost...

when you're a little lost you get a chance to wander around and find the

boundaries you are comfortable with for yourself.

You get to do what you want, but you know not to be an idiot and

get yourself into deeper shit, and you get to find the best route,

best guide, best instrument for your direction, and you get to make the journey -

whether it's 'out of there' or 'farther away' or 'to the destination' -

AND you get to make the most of it. 

You just have to remember what Ms. Gump said...

"You've got to do the best with what God gave you."

So my summer has been like a hurricane in the way that I've been living like a 

R E F U G E E 

and I've been called, more than just several times, that I am a 

G Y P S Y

and a

H O B O

and a 

V A G A B O N D 

and to tell you the truth...

I feel so P E N N Y - L A N E about it.

And speaking of P E N N Y - L A N E, I have to give that 'Almost Famous'

character (played by Kate Hudson) some credit because

I've always quoted her, and believed her, but never listened to her.  

You know, when she puts it real for all the girls like me....

"I always tell the girls, never take it seriously. If ya never take it seriously, you never get hurt.

If ya never get hurt, you always have fun. And if you ever get lonely,

just go to the record store and visit your friends."

So that's what I did today when I checked back into the hotel that I lived in from

April 14th - May 8th

I stayed long enough to get an 'okay' feel for it, and then went to visit my groupie friends at McGee's house.

The smell, LITERALLY, about knocked me on my you know what when I walked in the lobby.

I literally saw a months worth of days gone by and I wanted to vomit them up before they got to my

heart and just flat-out suffocated. The 'new girl' at the desk asked if I was ok.

"Yeah, it's just hot outside, got a little light-headed with my luggage."

Then I saw my favorite gal on the hospitality staff....

'Well, hey darlin! Are you back? Don't you tell me that another one burnt down on you suga?"

'No, no. Just lots of other minor disasters that stemmed from the 'big one'. It's been one of those summers.

As if I didn't feel old enough already, summer's gone by and I don't think I got to relax much.'

'Well I'll leave you alone in the morning, then sugar, what time do you get up now?'

I DIG IT, don't you?!? Haha

But, despite this fine hospitality, I couldn't be soothed or comforted in a way I badly needed right then.

I just prayed I didn't have a room on the same floor as I did before.

But, let's be serious about the fact that my life forgot to build that little "luck factor" into it's design, so of course I am on the same floor as I was before - that would only make some friggin' sense, huh?

Literally - across the damn hall.

But that makes sense, too, don't you think?

Back where I started, except on the other side of the hall, the backward-version.

I don't expect a knock on the door from a big pearly smile and sunshiney hair.

I can't wander to a different room and use my copy of that room's key and spend the night with one of my best friends and former roommates, so it's just a little bit estranged version of the stranged situation

I have now found myself in, not once, but two times this summer.

Beginning and End.

Like a little phase of my life that I'm supposed to wrap up in a memory-box and seal with a bow?

Is that what I'm supposed to do?

Put it on a shelf?

Can I not be proud of the feats I have made, be excited about the strides I have made toward this goal of mine, and be happy about the responsible decisions I've made regarding my life?

Sure, I may have prepared for light rains this hurricane season, but I wasn't expecting Katrina to happen - but I found myself a victim of losing everything I loved and worked hard on.

I hope no one knows the feeling I have when I think about the fact that I have NOTHING to show for my work in college. Do you know how entirely impossible it would be to compile all of my assignments from teachers (who is the only one that would have a copy) just so I can flip through the gajillion pages that chronicle all the semesters that I've worked so hard.

Ok, so there are a lot of semesters, haha, that's just hilarious, guys. ;)

I lost a MacBook that proved I was a pretty good little journalist.

I lost a Hewlett-Packard that had some seriously good stuff and useful things I planned to use in my life on since it had all of my HUMAN DEVELOPMENT work on it.

And the massssssssive amount of other really meaningful things to me.

It's not just a fire on one level. I know that I am so fortunate and so blessed and I am ALWAYS the first one to say that whether some people choose to see that in me or not.

But on an emotional level. On a self-conflictive level. On a love level. And on a happiness level.

Those levels, it wasn't all rainbows and lucky charms.

There were days when I didn't want to get out of bed. Days that I didn't care what I looked like anymore. Days that I didn't take care of myself. Days that I lashed out at people that I did not mean to hurt. There were days that I felt alone, even though I was loved by the highest quality people.

I had a boy who loved me, a sister who gently helped put me back together with her nurse type love, parents who motivated me to challenge myself everyday and a God that promised me if I did so, it would all be worth it in the end.

I lost even more along the way. Not to a fire. Not to smoke damage.

But to a smoke-screen, if you will.

After that fire happened, I was intensely moved by the destiny of who the friends were and who the relationship I found myself in was with. I put back bits and pieces of myself in different ways than I ever have before. I seemed fine. I was on fire in my walk with Christ, and I seemed to be living the picture-perfect happily-ever-after. But then I saw the smoke-screen, the stresses of classes, finances, the horrible feeling of no real place to call home, the uncertainty of what lie ahead, and the inability to wrap myself up in my favorite blanket and read one of my favorite novels or take a nap in my own bed and watch my favorite movies.

All relaxation methods: charcoal.

I desperately tried to tell the people that were in my life that I appreciated their patience with me.

I tried to express my love through my writing, though many went unread even by the people who

rooted for me most to be a blogger and open up the doors in my zest and love for journalism.

I sent cards, wrote letters, but despite my deepest, most desired passion to assure those in my life that things would be less messy, more peaceful, and OH SO MORE ENJOYABLE once all of the

relief-effort work is completed and I'm no longer a disaster refugee.

But as the days seemed to get shorter because the task list and the stress amount got larger,

I was losing faith from people that I would uphold my promise.

So now as I'm over here on  the other side of the hall, and I'm able to look at that life with the view from across the way, I see how eerily grey and stressed the smoke seemed to loom even after the fire damage was reconstructed and my little behind was back in there.

Which made for no sleep and a dash of more sass in the recipe because of it.

So even though my favorite part about the fire has now burst into flames itself (finding what I thought was true love), I must dig a little deeper to find the best part about this situation. 

Sometimes the good things can be found easily. In a big smile, or in swoopy bangs, or in a Sunday sermon, or just by looking out the window. 

This time, from this side of the hotel, the view of what's out there is a little calmer. 

No more interstate noise, or intense street and hotel sign lights, but a grassy hill, some wildflowers, and a place of wildnerness, nature, beauty, and less streess.

I'll take a wildflower outside my window over an 18-wheeler ANYDAY!

I guess I finally found calmness in my temporary home (again) because I found a peace of mind when I looked out the window today. I wasn't looking for a certain car to be pulling into the parking lot below my hotel when rush-hour was over, but instead I took it to mean that the good stuff is what you make of it. I missed Millie at that moment though, she's love the grassy area down there, but I smiled because I know that little dog and I are going to be okay when this is all said and done.

We may be a little like Dorothy and ToTo in some ways, but we'll make it to Oz one day I suppose.

But it has been a hard few days.

Instead of being the nice and sweet Dorothy, a lot of people have me out to be the wicked Witch of the West and I'm not so. I've just never loved that big and lost that much. That should be a compliment to the person it's about. I don't know why everything I've done in the past couple of days has been taken as being catty, selfish, and purposefully hurtful to anyone.

Because I am just one of those people that still cares even when I shouldn't, and I will always be that way.

And even though I may "too often" look for only the good in situations, at least I try to be positive, and keep my glass half-full. There's an art of compromise, an art to self-expression, and an art to communication and I am not Van Gogh at any of the above.

So I hope people can forgive, as I have forgiven them, because that is what the ultimate solution is.

And instead of being mopey and living in the smoke and backing down to this smoke-screen

that prevented me from loving in the way that I wanted to, or prevented me from getting done with all my schoolwork in the time that I most definitely more than anyone else wanted me to, and for giving me too much stress which meant too much to talk about and too much bullshit and baggage that was forcefully added to the mix. I waited five years for the time to be right to know and grow from the kind of love I had always wanted.

The simple love.

A boy, a girl, a friendship, two dreams becoming one.

A challenge, because that's what we did - we challenged eachother.

But I made the challenge too hard and I was helpless in preventing it.

So now that the stress has calmed, I'm unable to express to that particular person the amazement that I was greeted with when the smoke screen finally came down.

It's kind of like, 'I can see clearly now, the rain is gone.'

But I guess since I am disappointed in what would have been,

I can see where I went wrong and know how it should have been,

but I am hurt that some people still don't believe in the "could" part.

Hurricane season has caused some tornadoes to spawn off and cause their own destruction.

The winds have definitely shifted.

The rain has poured, lightened up, and dampened some areas.

And the unpredictability factor: un-real.

I guess when the waters calm I'll be able to once and for all set sail, and see what kind of unpredictable life for myself I can make. And if you've ever been sailing, you'd probably agree that a shipmate makes the ride worth it so I find myself grateful for the friends and family that give me the unconditional love that I need everyday - even when I'm being my most unlikeable, and I continue to have my mind and heart open to new possibilities with those that have come and gone and for those that have yet to come.

But, I'm going to let hurricane season end first. I'm not an idiot and about to cause myself a disastrous stint lost at sea in some epic storm because I'm no hero, and I've made sure no one expects a hero out of me, because it is the most heart-wrenching thing in the world to feel like a disappointment.

peace and love

to me, to you, to many

BAILY

DAY ONE!

Oh My Gosh!

Guess what??

I just heard my birthday on a movie preview

as the day it comes out in theaters!

That means that my birthday is on a Friday!

I'm SO not this pumped up about the movie that I saw the preview for.

Actually, I don't even know if I know what the darn thing was called!

I'm just excited because Friday nights are fun in the Fall up here!

Yep, up here.

Keep ya posted for some BIG news!

...and, even though there is a down-side to every situationa

I tend to turn it into the best that the circumstances allow for!

The best part about it all is that I have really seen how far

I have come as far as blazing this almighty trail to

find out who the hell I am and just exactly what it is that I want to become.

 Even the most recent of hardships and unfortunate situations that seem to have stemmed off of the unfortunate events of April 13, 2010.

'the day the music died'

the day I was forced to dance to the new tune I had already begun composing for myself

and guess what?

Today is August 2, 1010

In 25 days I will be another year older as a twenty-something year old.

When I kissed Momma and Daddy 'goodbye' in the parking lot of

my freshmen dorm, little did I know that I would, not even - more like COULD, one day respect them even more than I did then.

At that point in my life, I had no idea what I had in store for me.

But as each day goes by, and more people decide to bail out on my life, I realize the

E N O R M O U S

amount of new-found understanding of how important it is to stay true to yourself and stay true  to your family. No offense, but I truly have the best!

Looking back now, no shit did I not know what was about to happen to me.

Haha, those that know how I spent my first evening in college, can appreciate that if they want.

 Haha... but seriously, it's like the stage notes of 500 Days of Summer

Day One:

Voiceover: This is a story of boy meets girl. The boy, blank blank, grew up the All-American boy was raised in the South and was the simple kind of man who loved few things more than his Mama and college football, but there was a certain girl who'd captured his attention at orientation that found him in a cell-phone version summer romace. The girl, Baily Jones, grew up believing that boys were buddies and didn't understand why someone would stay home and not go to college, just because they had a boyfriend. She was the blonde and tiny type (his type, you could persay), no curves, but a smile that charmed him and not only did he like her way with words, but she had chosen Alabama rather than being born into it and she left no inhibition, and he found himself intrgued by her and excited about her arrival. Baily shared this level of intriguedness but had left a shredded-up heart and an ex-boyfriend at home because she knew better than to do that when so much lied ahead of her. Still she was crazy about the Southerner that charmed her.

You should know up front this is not a love story.

Haha but seriously. On 'Day One' I had no idea where I was going (I got lost several times, until about sophomore year when I mastered the essential campus routes); I had nothing around me that was familiar to me (all new things, new people, no boyfriend);  and I had boundless opportunities ahead of me.

So how can I not think of today as 'Day One' of the rest of my life?

Does it not sound ALL TOO familiar to you?

No idea where I am going when I graduate. Check, heck - I don't even know where I'm going to sleep tonight!

I have nothing around me that is familiar to me. Check, thanks to that crazy fire! 

I have no boyfriend. Check. And apparently, no friend in him either.

And I have boundless opportunities ahead of me. Check. I'm so glad that I've just always been a free-bird and one of those girls that you can take in and make me love you but I'll eventually fly away, I suppose! And 'Check, please!' if you control me and try to make me say 'Polly, wanna cracker!' because you know I'm throwing up my peace sign the second that cage comes out!

Voiceover: Day Whatever it is Five Years Later

Baily realized she was right all along, and wrong about him. She had always been aware that it was like sticking a round peg in a square whole.  She was hurt but grew strength from knowing that she had fought her own feelings, allowed herself a chance to love someone again but proceeded with caution because of a two year up and down ride that left her scarred. The boy, was given a chance he so badly wanted but proved her initial heartstrings were true. 

They, in fact, did not fit.

However, the girl attempted to find a perfect fit despite many failed times before because she finally believed in the superficial bonds of soulmates and no longer believed in loving only in the best friend way. The boy did not try, because the principle of the matter will always guide some people's lives no matter how much love and feeling they are willing to turn away.

Ok, so my voice-over is a girl one, so what? ;)

I guess it's back to Forrest Gump for me because I get to live through the coolest movie of all time when I get on a Forrest Gump kick, no matter how much I loved this 500 Days of Summer version relationship. (Should I start organizing ex-boyfriends as movies? The Epics, The Classics, The Horrors)

But, what's funny about the ones will ROMANCE.

Their usually 'Romantic Comedies' and if that didn't pin the tail on the donkey's ass...

someone ALWAYS gets the last laugh

he he he :)

But, on the real, today is the first day of the rest of my life!

I'm learning, teaching, and apartment hunting for my first very own place!

When I was knocked down and on my knees I could have chosen to act like a baby or I could have remembered what my knees are for and prayed. And then I went to church and heard a sermon on Matthew 5:9. And look - I'm back to being Miss Independent!

So here's to having my own coffee-maker and the decision to who finds out where this new place of mine is! If I love you, I'll give you the pass-code. If you're a robot, I'll just have to see how the movie ends.

peace and love

baily

goodbye, home

Yesterday, I had one of the most fun lunches with a roommate I've grown to adore.

Today, I'm packing up my room.

Tomorrow, my roommate and I move out of the house that has held two years of both ordinary and extraordinary experiences.

So many emotions are flowing in and out of me and all around me.

It's a very odd feeling to move away from a place you love.

Yes, love.

At our fun lunch at Panera Bread yesterday, E and I were talking about how much

F U N

we have had in our little white-framed college cottage.

It's hard to not love the house that sits in the shadow of Bryant-Denny Stadium, right across the street from JD's Food Mart - the infamous 'T-town' beer supplier. Even though there were times that HATE wasn't even a strong enough word to describe my feelings about this house of ours with the crimson-colored porch. But each and everytime any of us got over-whelmed with the cramped lifestyle of typical college living, we would go out on that front porch to sit underneath the strand of retro bulb lights and watch the good life happen.

On Thursdays, it wasn't out of the ordinary to see neighbors and friends out in the streets playing corn-hole, drinking light beer, and grilling-out before th massive congregation of tipsy  twenty-something year olds would walk, like a school of fish, to 'The Strip' where more weekend's Eve  celebration took place.  In a big college town, the weekend starts on Thursdays - you Southern frat-daddy's and sorority Belle's know this.

On Fridays, my worn-in and hardly-new college cottage would be an open house to friends and family coming in for a football game weekend, a sorority parent's weekend, or a date-party or social function. On Saturdays, our crimson-colored front porch was our office where we did business and made our gameday spending money by converting our yard into a parking lot for a small handful of the 100,000 people that come to 'Titletown' on Saturday's in the Fall. And on Sunday, my beloved little college-dwelling would set the scene for a random bunch of people and activities - like girl-fights over the laundry, papers and people sprawled out across the floor in a study group, dogs running up and down the stairs, pretty much just anything that resembles a scene from the movie 'Cheaper By The Dozen', no lie.

Even though the weekends here were always fun, the Mondays & Tuesdays & Wednesdays always held just as memorable experiences. I can honestly say, if there was a fly on the wall watching everything go down this entire time, then I'm probably happier than anyone in the world that houseflies can't talk - or they'd have some pretty mean blackmail on us all.

When I moved into 1008 exactly two years ago, I was not the girl that I am today.

I was heart-broken over a boy that I willingly gave my whole entire heart to; I was dating a great guy - but a pretty significant number of years separated us in age and caused us to split shortly after move-in; I had no relationship with any of my threeroommates; and my very best friend lived two streets away which made for a very convenient "escape route."

I didn't know much about myself when I first moved in.

I decorated my room in crimson, taupe, and black.

I loved music, but I hardly felt the emotional attachment to it that I feel now.

I had 9 credit hours worth of Human Development classes under my belt, but I wasn't officially able to transfer my Major/Minor yet so I was technically still a Journalism major and a Public Relations minor. I was a part-time 'nanny' and I was still very much a part of the Duckworth family's life on the days I was working.

I was fragile, the summer before I moved in was a series of ups and downs. The break=up, a car accident, my sister's wedding, a 28 year old boyfriend, and a big uncertainty on who my true friends were. But just like everything else in life, time did it's thing. It healed my wounds and it gave me friends, but also took from me friends. The time I lived here was about learning lessons too often the hard way; it was about my quest for self-discovery; and it was a time to let go of who I was and become who I wanted to be.

What other two years in my lifespan will prove to be as critical and defining as these past two? I have no idea! It just seems that, for a girl like me, the beauty in life that shows itself in the 20th, 21st, and 22nd years is different than the beauty we unfold at other times in life.

While I've lived in this house, I grew more understanding of the difference between love and infatuation. I became more independent and saw more clearly the friendships that I could be dependent on when and if life got hard. I started my sports' blog, I started this blog, I pulled all-nighters writing program proposals, and I spent many nights sleeping with my glasses on, a pencil in my hair, and covered up in class notes instead of a blanket.

These two years have given me some of the best friends I could ever ask for.

Elena is one of the most special people in my life.

Jackie, too.

And I'm pretty sure my first-senior-year wouldn't have been as climatic without the funny, crazy, wild, compassionate, and absolutely looney stories that E and I have of living with the twinkies. Between the four of us, not a dull moment passed by behind the red front door of Oak Avenue.

Speaking of my first-senior-year (because I have a couple, so what!?), that was the year that Pappas coined the phrase

T H E

C R A Z Y

H O U S E

 T H A T

 N E V E R

S L E E P S

which later became the undeniable truth

as well as our house's nickname amongst friends.

But seriously, I saw that soulfriend of mine last night and we were joking about all the, as he likes to say "crazy shit"  that went down in this house.

Like the WWE-style fights between emotionally disturbed college girls.

And the insane amounts of candy, Icee's, and party favors brought in from JD's.

And the way we spent our gameday parking ca$h money on kegs, pedicures, cover charges, and drinking citations. I've celebrated my 21st and 22nd birthdays in this house, and I have gone through a couple phases of the ups and downs of break-ups.

You want to know a fact that we found super cool last night, too?

I've never come back to this house after a home football game, E V E R being defeated.

NOW DO YOU SEE WHY I DON'T WANT TO MOVE OUT OF THIS PLACE YET?

Do you realize that that means I lived a stone's throw distance from Bryant-Denny Stadium a.k.a.

the greatest place on earth

during two years of Bama Football that will be storied forever?

I won an SEC Championship here.

I won a BCS National Title here, too.

Oh yeah, and I watched North Carolina win the Final Four in this house as well.

A lot can happen in two years.

People come in and out your life, some relationships and friendships even have enough time in two years to go full circle, and then again. Hearts break, love prevails, friends pour salt on your wounds, and unexpected strangers morph into best friends when you realize two years later that you couldn't have done it without them. Cousins are born, friends marry, lovers move away, your favorite teacher gets fired, you raise a puppy who becomes your best friend, and you dance to a song that melodies both hope and hopelessness and both strength and fear. Two years may just be a small slice of the pie, but it holds just as much sweetness as the bigger pieces. I guess that's why I'm glad I savored it, I watched my life happen and I journaled those things. I lost many a days recordings in those journals, but I do have the best and worst memories of these past two years. And I also have the knowledge that

Baily Jordan Jones

wouldn't be the girl she is today without the happenings of the two recent years behind me.

Of course, 1008 Oak Ave, would be

 t h e

C r A z Y

h O u S e

t h a t

N E V E R

s l e e p s

and so of all the houses around here, our 5BR/3BA white house with a red porch and black shutters is the only appropriate choice for a HOUSE-FIRE.

Really!?!  Throw me a frickin' bone here!!!

But, we made it through the best of times and the worst of times, and that's because - no matter what I say, this I do solemnly vow - we had a lot to be grateful for because

1008

gave us a nest and a place to call home when we were miles from the real deal, and it set the stage for where two very important, very wild, and very cherished years of our lives took place.

So as I pack up my things and kiss this room good-bye,

I must say that I will miss this place dearly.

I also must admit in advance that I will come back to this neck of the woods when

I visit Tuscaloosa for football games and will feel jealous of the four or five

crazy, looney, best friends that will be out there in the front yard of this place selling parking spaces - I'll probably be one of those crazy, middle-aged women who will

insist on a season-long promise of a parking spot actually.

I'll tell my husband and children all the stories that went down in this place and giggle inside knowing that no one can appreciate 1008 Oak Avenue for what it's worth unless you were one of the special few that resided in this cozy little college house off of Bryant Drive.

And I'll hopefully re-tell these stories for years and years..

because it's not the H O U S E that makes these past two years so wildly memorable.

It's the F R I E N D S that were here when shit got crazy, the friends that were here when we'd throw-down on a killer house party, and the friends that were here when I needed those nights on the porch, underneath the redneck riveria Christmas lights, and talked to me about 

L I F E

and

L O V E

and filling this entire little college house with so much

L A U G H T E R

So thank you to all my wonderful roomies and gypsy friends that came in and out and got to enjoy this wild and crazy ride with us at

1008 Oak Avenue

I love you

and to the fire that tried to take me out of here before I was ready to go on my own

YOU CAN'T TAKE THESE MEMORIES I HAVE THAT KEEP ME SMILING

peace and love

baily

Don't you think it's going to be weird to hear me write about a place that isn't 1008?

Y'all had to hear me moan about it being a firezone and I know I've vented SEVERAL dozen times on here about how crazy it is to live with a bunch of girls like me.

But hey, at least we make for good stories to be retold

 I'm 

i know it's a GOOD tweet when i receive it from @littleashrn

@bailyjones you must read this... tweet tweet!

The great love of my life marries today and I am not the groom.

I had my chance, a few years ago, but did not realize until too late how fleeting my moment with her was meant to be. Whether it was my fault or her's, and let's face it, it was probably mine, I will wonder always about the life I might have had with the most loving and loveable woman I have ever known. Sometimes, I finally now understand, love - even crazy love, is not enough. Sometimes, as the romance novelists know, timing is everything. But today is not a day for remorse. It is not a day for lost causes. Today is a day for celebration. The woman I once promised to keep happy  is happy. She tells me she is marrying a wonderful man, with a good heart, whom she believes I would have liked had we met in different circumstances.

She lives where she wants to live. She has selected her life's path. All that is left for me to do is to wish her well and to hope that she has made the right choice; that she continues to find in him what she did not find in me. And I am sure he considers himself today the luckiest man on the face of the Earth. The present I humbly send her today is this column; this public note; this irrevocable display of affection and support and gratitude; this worldly absolution from any guilt or sadness she felt between the time she said no to me and the time she said yes to him. No one ought to have to carry that with them into a marriage. I showered her with as much love as I  could muster when we were together. I still love her and always will. So I am only too happy to offer my toast to her now, one more time, before she takes her vows.

I want to thank her, mostly, from rescuing me from hopelessness. When we met, back in the Spring of 2005, I ws nearly 40 and had been dating off and on for two years following an unexpected divorce. I had lost faith in relationships. I had given up on love. She arrived, unexpectedly, and showed me what was possible. She raised me up from the emotional dead. She drew out of me the poison of divorce and betrayal.

Eleven years younger but already more mature than me, she was dazzling, brilliant, funny, and sweet; she both gave and taught me patience and devotion and sacrifice. No woman before or since ever made me feel as desired, needed, beloved, and appreciated as she did. No one has yet made me want her more. Some men live their whole lives without this kind of love. At least I had it for one brief, shining moment.

I want to thank her for being so delightful with my son, who talks about her still, and to my parents, who couldn't believe their son's good fortune to have landed such a sweetheart. Until almost literally his dying day, my dad would ask me about her. Near the end, almost exactly two years ago, I did not have the heart to tell him that we had broken up. It gives me peace figuring that he died thinking she'd be in my life when he was gone.

And in a way I suppose she is. Rarely a day goes by when something in my life - the law, journalism, horses, celebrity gossip - doesn't make me think of her or what she'd think.

I want to thank her for - it's now such a cliche that I'm almost  embarrassed to write it - making me want to be a better man. She really did. It happens. She made me less judgmental and more open to new ideas. She gave me a confidence I had never felt before. She gave me incentive to reach out professionally into areas, I had not yet gone. I became more productive and back involved in the world. And, most important, I learned how to respond with love when so much love was offered to me. I learned how to trust but also how to show it. And in some way, virtually every friend, family member, and romance in my life since has benefited from the gifts of grace she gave so willingly to me.

I want to thank her for making me laugh, at her and myself, and for making me swoon whenever she walked into a room. I want to thank her for the advice she gave me, and for the soothing tone of her voice during times of trouble.

I want to thank her for completely changing my outlook on life. Before I met her, as a single father, I never would have considered having another child. Although it took more time than it should have. I came to realize through her love and devotion that there would be nothing more I would rather do in the world than have a child with her. How many poor souls go their whole lives without the heart-string pull of such emotions?

I want to thank her for giving my life's dream contours and a calculus. I want to live on a farm one day, a farm filled with horses and wireless connections where I can write. And now, thanks to her, I know exactly what I want and need in a partner who might just want to get there, too. That's just another gift she gave me; the gift of knowing what is possible in a relationship; of refusing to settle for mediocrity where it counts; and of taking the chance when something inside tells you it could be love.

I sound like a sap, I know. But it's no less true. No matter what my romantic future holds, I know there will be no retreat from the standards she has set. Like the song says, surely someone will one day dare to stand where she stood. I can't wait.

On her wedding day, I want to thank her for all those times she stuck up for me - with her friends, with her family, with her work colleagues. It could not have been easy, explaining to all  those cooler heads, why she was so devoted to an "old guy" who lived so far away. Yet she did it, even after she had decided that she would not throw down her lot with me.

That's the sort of character I'd like to instill in my son. It's the sort that we think is all around us but actually is rare. It is courage and self-confidence and the ability to see right from wrong. She displayed it every day, right down to the end.

Ours was a romance wihtout rancor; a love affair that ended in peace, not war.

I want to thank her for being such an inspiration. She did not give in or sell out or become one of those poor women of a certain age in New York who have put their careers ahead of their lives. When we met, she was living in New York but was not of New York; transplanted from the West Coast, she has not allowed herself to be seduced entirely by the City's charms. She took from Manhattan, like so many other beautiful women do, but she never gave to it her heart and soul. She was always rooted even among the rootless of her age and time. She knew she would one day leave the City, and she did, on her own terms. I admire her for that. I respect her for that. And I love her for it.

It wasn't too long after we met that I began imagining what our wedding day would be like. My second, her first. I nonetheless pictured her not taking it too seriously, laughing off the little crises that always pop up. I pictured her stunning in her dress and with that smile that would melt me. I pictured her having a vodka and soda to ease her nerves. I pictured us laughing a lot. I pictured myself at the end of the aisle. It was not to be. I've known that for years.

But that doesn't make the love any less real. So at last my wedding toast today is sincere: I wish the deepest and most profound love of my life a happy life, a good life, one in which she gives to and gets from the loved ones in her world the hope and the passion and the comfort and the support she always and so magically gave to me.

By: Andrew Cohen

I know - I'm in tears, too.

Not because I'm sad that I may never find this kind of love again because it's pretty clear that I will.  He describes her the way someone once talked so highly about me, so my tears are happy tears.

They are happier because there are many days ahead of me; happy tears because even if I'm never meant to find love like this again, I'm still able to be happy and grateful for experiencing the fulfillment out of life thatonly love this profound can bring; and I can look at the days ahead with inspiration from these happy tears, as well, because I'm aware that there is a good life out there - maybe a soulmate comes back and maybe I haven't met him yet - but I do know that in order to have the good life, you've got to make it the good life.

That's why I can say this with an honest heart: when you've been loved in the same kind of way that the columnist depicts in that up there, you're inspired to continue making yourself a better person. And you know how good it feels to be loved, and loved crazily, so you are anxious to show the world that you yourself can give that kind of love.

But you also don't want to let go of what was, so you spend a lot of time praying for a sign of hope, and you find yourself typing a text message to him just to delete it before you send it - and you know that's going to happen everytime you open up a blank text message, and you look - constantly - for answers and assurance from yourself,  God, and everyone around you.

It's hard to let go of what was and look ahead at what's to come.

That's what I don't understand.

I already know that I'm a wheeler and dealer at making life happen in the fun and adventuresome way when I inspire myself to care only about me, myself and I.

I'm also aware that when I get on that full-forced throttle, I literally only care about me, myself, and I, except I remember how important it is to slow down and realize that no matter how great life is going at work, school, social groups, what have you -

it's just not worth a thing if you don't get to share the journey with that person you find

absolultely amazing.

So I guess I'm still stuck here, in the twilight zone of course, on my praying knees, looking for answers, listening to Tom Petty and The Beatles, and taking care of the responsibilities in my own life.

It's a good feeling to know that I didn't lose sight of myself in this crazy school semester and I didn't let my spirit and will burn down into ashes with all those things so sentimental to me. Because even though I've been wearing my heart on my sleeve and I've put my feelings completely out there, I am able to go on with my day to day as I try to reveal to myself a little bit more of whats to come. Is it me? Is it us? Is it me and someone else? Is it him and someone else? Is it friendship? Is it true love? Is it infatuation? Is it circular, where it never ends? Or is it linear, with a start and a very blunt end?

I guess it's pretty comforting to know that GOD has it all in his plan, and He knows how this all ends for me. And even though I still have so many questions about these certain "hard times" like fires and stress and breakups... I do know that He is going to reward me for being such a soldier through it all. I have seen Him do so much work in my life already (mysteriously, of course).

When I lay my head down at night to thank Him for all that He has given and taketh away, I also express my gratitude for the comfort of knowing that He has recognized how strong I've been and how graceful I've been at taking His tests. Even though I've given some people room to doubt my strength, independence, and ambition, I am reminded daily that it is not only seen but admired by so many other people.

So thank you to the people who have sent me messges telling me they enjoy my writing and enjoy my honesty, inspiration, and creativity - whether they are talking about my blog, my doodles and letters I send to friends, my journals, or my infamous quotes on facebook.

Remember when Carrie Bradshaw asked us this, "When it comes to love, why do we only believe our worst reviews?" Well, thanks to so many wonderful people, I'm reminded of just how good I can be and how much difference I can make if I utilize the talents, passions, and resources for a successful life that the Lord has SO LOVINGLY blessed me with.

I love you all.

And you, well - I'll always love you, you know that.

Tweet Tweet,

 Baily