That was a long time gone.

Oh my goodness, it feels good to be posting again.  I'm sure I seemed like a lost cause of a Blogger while I was away for almost 3 weeks but I have been on the go and out of town for two solid weeks.  I guess you can say there is a lot to catch up on but I'll try to make this update as short and sweet as possible.  Yeah, right.

I promise I'll try. 

I went to Charlotte for the first week of my two week hiatus from normal life.  I have been blessed with a pretty awesome relationship, as of late and I was there visiting Sheldon.  He is a friend from way back in the day that I have always had a great relationship with.  He moved away to Charlotte about a year after we met in middle school but we remained close friends throughout all the years. His family's visits back home to Orlando allowed for a steady friendship and a memorable past filled with stories that no other group of friends could ever hold a candle to. These friends were special... and the tragic loss of one of them brought us all back together a few weeks ago.  In spite of the unfortunate circumstances, the one we lost too soon was the one who finally had it his way - Greg brought Sheldon and I together in a relationship kind of way while we were back in the same place at the same time.  Life does that.  Crazy beautiful...

So I spent a solid week of happiness with my best friend who I have a newfound love for.  I am the happiest girl in the world.

On top of all that serendipity, I witnessed the most amazing miracle a week ago today.  My sister and Tyler brought the most beautiful baby boy I have ever seen into the world and into our family on August 16, 2011.  Grayson Coleman Little weighed 7lb. 9oz. and was 19.5in long.  At first sight, I was absolutely in love with everything about him.  I may or may not be boo-whooing right now.  But seriously, I have never seen anything so amazing in my entire life.  I can only imagine what it will be like through the eyes of Ashley - looking at you and your soulmate's perfect creation.  I am so proud of them... I have utmost respect and admiration for them as a couple and now, a family.  They are true children of God and now they are parents and are experiencing the kind of love that God has for us as they look at their own child.  I am just in heaven as I watch my sister become this amazing mother.  I never doubted her, she pretty much did the job as my second mother my whole life so she ought to have it down pat. ;)

I just love my new role as an "Aunt"... I am was the baby of the family so I never knew what it was like to have a little brother or sister.  Being an older sibling just wasn't in the hand I was dealt.  I was the younger sibling.  I dreamed of this time in my life for so long... when I would have a special bond with my older sister's child... the way she had an incredible love and special bond with me as her little sister.  I couldn't wait until the day I was to be able to begin watching a new member of my family grow up.  I was jealous of friends that had younger siblings that they were able to witness this miracle with.  My miracle came and I can't explain the love I have for him.  It is life-changing, to say the least.

Check out Sissy's blog and get all the baby talk from her.  She's got the cutest baby in the world who has the most precious baby nursery I've ever seen and the most amazing, Godly parents in the entire world.  Grayson is so blessed and they are so blessed because of him.  I could go on and on.. I am already, aren't I?

Tell me what y'all have been up to while I've been off falling in love and becoming Aunt Sissy.  Can't wait to catch up on everyone else's blogs!  Sorry I've been Miss Sketchball.  Love y'all lots!

Peace & Love

Baily



grayson: my happy place

It has really started to hit me lately that I am going to be an aunt.  My only sister - my only sibling - is pregnant with her first baby.  A baby boy.  I just know he is so beautiful as he is growing inside of her and that God grace is a part of the entire process because it is what gives us purpose and meaning.

It hit me when I was driving down the road and I was really feeling down on myself.  I have my ups and downs - and then I have my way ups and way downs.  I'm not really sure what this one would rate, but I was in deep thought with myself... no radio, no cell phone conversation, no random pointless stuff that is sometimes typical of me... but the deep stuff was going through my head and I was thinking about baby Grayson.

Grayson Coleman Little.

I was in deep thought, and down on myself, because I was having one of those days where you wonder if you even have a purpose.  I mean, life isn't too bad and there's not drastic suffering but it's just monotony and full-time reminders of your failures.  I feel like this somedays, even though I always snap out of it and see how blessed and loved I am.  But this particular day, I was wondering what I'm meant for - I'm a troublesome daughter, I'm single and can make any guy fall in love with me but can't grasp the act of making them stay or keep their promises, I'm just as much of a bad friend as I am a great one, I have no career, I have no degree, and I lack a lot of self-confidence. I know that those times are just the evilnes of depression getting to me and I always can pray and ask God to help me keep those thoughts away, and what do you know - the Lord brings me the my HAPPY PLACE...

So the deep thought that I was in, was suddenly not so dull and grey when the thoughts led to my precious baby Grayson - the nephew that I am going to swaddle with love and giggle with until I'm too old and senile to even know who he is.  I can't wait to be his best buddy, his cool Aunt, for my entire life.  I know my sister's life is drastically changing... but her life has always been very linear, smooth, and gliding.  Mine is like a random, no correlated mixed timeline of a lifespan - but then wham bam!.... I get to take on the role of AUNT SISSY, too!  There ARE great things admist the madness.  Anyways, back to my thoughts...

I got to thinking about how one day he is going to be a twenty-something and wonder what his purpose is and maybe, but hopefully not, he might wonder if he even has one.  Like I've often wondered.  I found relief, comfort, and strength in the self-talk and transistion of my thought proces when I realized I am going to be a guidance couselor that has been there and done that when he gets in trouble.  My sister was, like - no joke, the perfect child.  I wish sometimes that I would have followed her footsteps more closely, but I always had to do things my way - so my footsteps are right behind hers... just a little different of a dance is my stride.  I am just full of joy that Grayson is going to have her as a mother to look up to and be disciplined from - the woman that I know as "Sissy" and who I know's favorite past-time is to tattle on people.  I happened to be her closest nutcase since we were besties and Sissy's so I have always kept her with something to talk about.  I know she'll be on Grayson's little ass like white on rice - but he'll have his weirdo bohemian Aunt to help him out of stuff. 

But since I have lived and learned, I know that I can help teach him lessons.  Sometimes role models aren't the perfect models.... sometimes the best role models can be the ones that already did the messing up and falling down and then they meet something, like a nephew, that they love so much they make sure they don't make their same mistakes.  They change their ways for little nephews.  I can't wait to be a role model to someone who will hopefully look up to me.

 I know I mess up, I know I will continue to mess up, and I don't care if anyone else sees it or not - it is only important to me that Grayson Coleman Little will see it - it's not about how or why or the amount of times you fall down, it is ALL about GETTING BACK UP again!

bjj

continue to pray for baby grayson.  i love to just close my eyes and imagine God just working with His holy hands on that beautiful being.  i can't wait to know this kind of love.

visit her blog

here