the one about home being where the heart is

You know how we grow up under the impression that "home is where the heart is?"  Well, I always thought it meant that home is actually where our heart is.  Like, the day I decided I was going to go to Tuscaloosa for school, I thought that Alabama would, in fact, become my home.  Temporary, permanent, that part didn't matter at the time.  I was leaving little old Oviedo and broadening my horizons, spreading my wings, chasing my dreams... you know, what all my Hallmark Graduation cards said I was doing.  Don't get me wrong, I didn't want to leave those roots, that Floridianized southern upbringing, and all those wild and crazy friends... but, I knew that in my heart I was Dixie bound. 

To be honest, my idea of "home is where the heart is" was completely wrong.  This jaded little heart of mine might have a certain love for this university and the Crimson Tide and those that I met during my journey here.  But, my real love is a home grown town that raises good-hearted people along with it's groves of oranges and stalks of celery.  See, my heart might not hold dreams of returning to that little town like it holds my dreams of places like Austin and Nashville and San Francisco, but it's not where my heart is that makes an ordinary place my home.  That's where I was wrong! It's the heart and soul of all the other people that make me proud to call that Florida town my home.

Maybe for some this isn't neccessarily the case.  But I know, for me, it's as true as the sun coming up each morning.  I've always known it, but let me just tell you why I decided to bring it up today.

I received some mail today.  One item was a box.  I opened it up to find a card from two of my best girlfriends from high school, Susan Abascal and Justine Positano. I barely got through a single sentence and on to the next one before big, raindrop tears poured down my face.  They praised me for being so strong, they blessed me with their thoughts and prayer, and they encouraged me to continue on.  It wasn't the card's printed words, it was their words, their honest to goodness words.  In the box was a blanket, monogrammed with a message saying "Home Is Where The Heart Is", a box of chocolates quoting my favorite movie - "Life is like a box of chocolates, you never know what you're going to get", a journal like the ones I adored so much that went down in the flames that said "Live for Today, Learn from the Past, and Hope for Tomorrow", and inside was a collage of pictures from my beautiful group of girl friends and the words "cheers to new beginnings", and last but not least - a bag of dog biscuits for their other favorite fire victim, my little Millie girl.  The tears just poured.  How wonderful it felt to know that I had a support system hundreds of miles away.  I had a hometown crowd cheering on one of their hometown girls.  I instantly felt as if I had wrapped that blanket they sent around me, but it was just the warmth of knowing that I may have lost a lot, but I've never lost them.

The other item in the mail was a card from our friend Jennifer.  She considered my love for music and sent me a pack of gift cards to the iTunes store.  She wanted to help me rebuild my music, something that might seem childish of me to be upset about considering the masses of destruction the fire left, but only a true friend would understand this yearning of mine. True friend, she is. They all are; and I'm nothing less than incredibly blessed. I grew up down the road from Jennifer and went to school with her my whole life.  Our families were friends, we were friends, and we stuck by one another through some of life's hardest battles.  That group of girls gave me a support system when I battled the emotions that came with my dad's cancer diagnosis and treatment, they sent me off to college, and welcomed me back home with open arms when I would visit. I always had only the utmost respect for them because they not only loved me during the good times but they did even more during the bad times.  I don't think I can say that about my college friends with 100% honesty.  If anyone agrees with me about the steadfast support of my Oviedo friends, then it would be Jennifer.  She lost her dad to an unexpected heart-attack on Christmas morning this past year.  Mr. Burns was nothing short of an amazing father to her and her brother, but he was also a genuine friend to our group of friends.  On the day of her father's funeral, I stepped back and took in everything I saw, for what it was worth.  It was nothing I didn't expect, I knew how this group of girls united during times of triumph as well as tribulation, but to see it from a 22-year old's point of view was far more meaningful than what I remembered as a teenager.  These girls, each unique and beautiful in her own way, never fail to come together and be the kind of friends that most people spend their entire lives searching for.  Like searching for a soulmate, only God gave me a handful of soulmates and brought us all together in that place we like to simply call - home.  It's riveting.  To feel it now, during this personally difficult time, is even more fascinating and defeats all wonder. 

I know that the road we take doesn't always lead us home.  But "home", to me, isn't a place or a dot on a map.  It's the love from those that care the most.  The ones that pack a blanket for comfort, dog snacks for thoughtful humor, and journals with pictures to show that they're with me, whether they're hundreds of miles away or not, as I take on this new beginning.  They send $30 worth of iTunes so that I can enjoy a song of hope or play a song from all of those days in the past, when we were so young and carefree and always together. 

It's funny how an envelope or a box of goodies can be so therapeutic.  Those "things" aren't just "things."  I can't replace them with a State Farm Insurance check nor would they mean as much to me coming from someone or somewhere else.  They put their heart - their comfort, love, and support, into those packages and sent it to me.  And I got a piece of "home" today in the mail, and I know for a fact that home is where the heart is.

Peace&Love

Baily "Bear" (that one's for them)