West Coast or Southwest?

I guess I'm just like everyone else is - you have to do a lot of searching and a lot of hurting to find your road in life.  I've always believed that you have to fall a few good times to finally realize you're ready to stand on your two feet.  It's true in life as a 22 year-old just as it is true in life as a toddler.  You know, those first steps you take that you'll never remember but your parents and grandparents will remember.  But, even though you don't remember them it was you, and your consciousness, that decided that falling on your diaper-butt was getting old and you were ready to do some walking instead of crawling and cruising.  First, we used the coffee table to pull ourselves up.  Then we held on to that safety feature for as long as we needed until we got it right.  Still, we would fall when we'd start walking so fast that we couldn't stop so we just threw ourselves to the ground and wait a little while before we make the decision whether or not to try again.

I still do it to this day.  I hold on to those safety features as long as I can, and when I try to do too much on my own I eventually end up falling.  But, need me remind you - no matter how many times you fall, as long as you get back up that's all that really matters.

The decisions about what direction or road to take in life is usually the most difficult.  I'm VERY much at that cross-road in life right now.  I dreamed of going to San Francisco and chase down those desirable West coast dreams ever since I visited there in 3rd grade.  But, what's my safety feature out there? Exactly. I don't have one.  After I switched my major to Early Childhood Education and Human Development I had an epiphany, an "aha!' moment one day as I was driving down the road in my car (the car that has the skyline of San Francisco taped to the dashboard).  I felt a tug from Austin, Texas.  Austin, from that day on, felt like a perfect fit.  The job opportunities for my major are the most plentiful in that neck of the woods and it seems like a neat and nifty place to live anyways.  Everyone who knows of this Austin dream thinks I'd be a pretty perfect fit for the Texan city.

Live music capital of the world. The University of Texas athletics. The Rise School. Young, hip, and openminded.  Seems like my kind of city...

Then, a friend puts the idea in my head that I have always tried to live by the Janis Joplin words, "don't compromise yourself, you're all you've got."  Would Austin be me "settling?"  Would I always regret not going to San Fran? If I'm moving to Austin for a career should I be more focused on that right now rather than fulfilling my childhood dream of spending a year or so in The City by the bay? A career isn't going to go anywhere - not to mention I can find jobs in my career field in San Francisco where some of the best Developmental Centers are located. So, what's a girl to do?

I'm not going to be a journalist like I dreamed of since grade school, but I love my major that I will get a degree in.  I didn't go to UNC like I dreamed of since I was old enough to know what further education was, but I love the University of Alabama with all of my heart.  Is San Francisco my last decision as a "big girl" that wouldn't disappoint the "little girl" I was when I dreamed so big? 

Crossroads, crossroads, crossroads.  How come when you finally get a firm stance on your two feet does it seem like there's no safety feature to grab ahold of and give you a little security or help you make a HUGE decision?

I guess that's one of the hard parts about growing up... maybe it's time to let go of the safety features and go out there and make something of myself on my own, and if I fall... well, I'll just get right back up and let life take me where it's supposed to take me. I guess that's all we can do.

-BJJ

The 'Other' Sister

Austin, Texas

San Francisco, California