The Valentine's Run-Down

I'm young and I'm single.  These two things may not always apply to me, for I hope to grow old and I hope "he" is out there somewhere looking for me like I am him, but for the time being they do apply to me. 
I'm not the girl who is known for being wise or full of common sense and practicality.  No one is going to look at me and my (non-existent) happily ever after, fairy-tale romance and think "Man, I need to get dating advice from THAT girl."  I do not know the rules of love or the tricks to finding the perfect soulmate.  I may wish I knew these things because then I wouldn't be watching 'Dennis The Menace' and 'Richie Rich' on ABC Family and blogging about my nonsense on this Valentine's Day.  While lovers frolick on their way to wine and dine, girls like me eat 'Cup Of Noodles' and watch movies made for eight year olds.  Plus, no boyfriend can out do my mom's Valentine's Day care packages anyways - so who needs 'em?

I'm sure there are endless reasons why I can't seem to make a relationship work but I am way too proud of myself to admit them.  All of the sappy movies that I've watched with my girlfriends since 10th grade have told me that there is one person for everyone, that men should think our imperfections are perfect, serendipity and fate, blah blah blah....  I guess I just haven't met him yet or maybe I'm just going to be an old maid.  An old maid with plenty of close guy friends and no soulmate, but an old maid.  Nonetheless, this force of attraction is beyond my control and while I wait to be handed this soulmate of mine rather than the lemons I'm often handed I will find true love in stuff like my boxer pup and my sports obsessions.

 

Still, Valentine's Day comes around once a year whether I like it or not.  Until Mr. Soulmate comes to sweep me off my feet and frolick with me to our fancy dinner, I will entertain you with my thoughts about this 'lovely' holiday.  Here goes my run-down....

• The only single female that is happy about this holiday is the recently-divorced or never married CEO of Hallmark Cards.  Assuming the CEO of Hallmark Cards fits all of that criteria.
• The only man a girl should trust is her Daddy.  And for me, these are the only other men I would trust with my heart right now: Tyler Hansbrough, Leonardo DiCaprio, Nick Saban, and Kenny Chesney.
• If everyone loved Valentine's Day because they had someone to share it with then there would be no good country songs.  Seriously, what would they write about if there were no reason to drink whiskey to heal a broken heart? Think about it.
• Elementary school years, I liked Valentine's Day.  We decorated our brown paper lunchbag, taped it to our desk, and delivered our small Valentine's cards to each of our classmates.  Everyone got the same amount of love, and if you did have a crush or love interest then the only disappointment was finding out he gave the girly-girl in your class an extra lollipop or pack of SweetHearts.  If I had a nickel for every time I was given the same card as the boys while my guy of interest gave all of the girls a different theme.  I should of worn bows in my hair longer, I guess, but my sister made me think Umbro shorts were the most fashionable clothing choice...
• I don't understand why a dozen roses cost $20.00 for 364 days out of the year, but the cheapest you can find them today is like $60.00.  When I do meet this soulmate, I'll be madder than hell if he wastes forty hard-earned dollars by sending me roses on Feb. 14th.  He can send them AND that mani-pedi that the difference covers on Feb. 13th - I won't hate him for it. He oughta know I don't like roses and the $10.00 daisies or sunflowers at the supermarket are more my style anyways.
• The best gift I ever got for Valentine's Day was a Bear Bryant biography and "remote priviledges" during the Duke/UNC basketball game.  Thanks, Cole!
• I happen to love 'Cup Of Noodles' so wine and dine all you want.  Note: they're especially good with a couple drops of Texas Pete hot sauce. 
• The best romantic flicks that still give me hope:  The Notebook, Serendipity, and Jerry Macguier.
• The movie most like my life: Must Love Dogs.  Why? Well, you must... especially Millie. And she's a preschool teacher, and everyone says I look like a younger version of Diane Lane.  That's why.
• I still have more guy friends than ex-boyfriends so if you ask me, I'm still in a winning position.
• But, one is getting married. Two just got girlfriends who, "by default" they say they don't like me.  Why does everyone have to hate on the gender difference in most of my close friendships?
• Words to live by: "If you can't be with the one you love, love the one you're with." Many thanks to Crosby, Stills, Nash and Young for that one.... what a classic.
• How come no one else finds the naked little cupid baby creepy like I do?
• Disney/Pixar's "Cars" just came on after "Richie Rich" and "Dennis The Menace."  Apparently the folks at ABC Family aren't obsessed with Valentine's Day like the rest of America is.
• I'm going to propose that there be a holiday that celebrates singlehood.  No candlelight dinners and long-stemmed roses... just a big party for all the fun, independent people that haven't succombed to the relationship life just yet.
• Lastly, here are the things that I do love (and I mean LOVE) right now:
• My family - Momma, Daddy, Ash Pash and Tyball.  I'm the oddball or "5th wheel" but they don't mind it... they're with me on this - it's better to be happily single than in an unhappy relationship.  Lucky for them, life quit handing them lemons at an early age and introduced them to their soulmate.  Life may have introduced me to mine but the complicated life that I lead hasn't clearly shown me if this is true yet. I'll keep you posted.
• My friends - my girlfriends try to introduce me to potential males.  Most have been, well, lemons.  Still, they either show me they care by trying or they themselves are single and give me someone to be single with.  My guyfriends (besides the ones that let their girlfriends steal them away from me) are my backbone and encourage my singlehood because it's true, I am a hell of a lot more myself when I'm single.  They take me out to dinner and buy me lunch on occassion, so it works out.
• Millie - the dog-soulmate that life handed me.  I can live with the thought of a few more lemons now that I have her.

Well, there's my run-down for Valentine's Day.  If you didn't already think I was a nutcase, you do now.

Peace & Love.
-BJJ
The 'Other' Sister

Here's a few pics! :)

My best friend Will Pappas and I in Tuscaloosa, Ala. (August 2008)

In Key West during Spring Break 2009. With a group of close guy friends: Brad Zimmerman, James Proctor, John Clayton, Me, Will Pappas, and Braxton Pruitt

My good friend Taylor Harvell and I in Tuscaloosa, Ala. (November 2009)  He left me for Washington, DC though... sad face.

My best friend Brent Buck and I in Tuscaloosa, Ala. (May 2009) And, yes, Will Pappas being Will Pappas and flicking off the camera in the background.