guy-friends are sometimes just better

Just the other day I was talking to my good friend, Kent Guillot.  Our relationship is funny in some sorts.  When I first met him, I was a freshmen and in my second week of school at Alabama.  My friend Kathleen brought me over to the infamous "Apartment 203" at University Square Apartments and introduced me to her friends from home.  Kent was roommates with Brett Laney and the entire group of friends who spent countless nights celebrating Alabama football victories and (for me) UNC Basketball victories in that apartment have all stayed pretty close friends.  It's one of those groups of people that I love belonging to because they've always been there for me - no matter what. 

Even though Kent and I didn't get off on the right foot in terms of getting along, we eventually grew to be extremely close.  He's been one of the truest and best friends since my days began at Alabama.  His recent relocation to Birmingham has left me all alone and without a big chunk of my support system in Tuscaloosa.  But, he's showed how much he cares by always coming back in town to hang out with me and keep our friendship growing.

Not too long ago he sent me a text message to tell me to clear my plans for tonight, Tuesday March 2nd.  I asked what for and this was his reply, "Because you are the greatest girl ever and you deserve to be spoiled every once in a while. So I'm taking you to dinner, wherever you want, I'll be there Tuesday."  It is times like this that I am so glad that I have friendships that I understand even if ex-boyfriends and other friends never could get their minds around it.  I know that Kent and I are friends, and we love eachother dearly as I do all of my close guy friends, and I know that he will always take care of me.  The relationship that I have with him and guys like Pappas and Chace and Buck - well, I came to the conclusion that as long as I understand them then I don't have to explain it to anyone else. 

Boys that have beeen in my life who did not admire my ability to have such constant and close friends, despite their gender.  I feel that my choices in friends should be just as admired and trusted as any other stable friendships I may have with girls. I'm so glad I've realized this lately, because I've learned who the true people in my life are.

Why for so long do we let the "boy" in our life determine the "boys" in our life?  I can understand when both see one another as potential marriage material and things are serious and moving toward a life-long commitment, but I don't think I've ever had that yet, so why have I ever let others determine the dynamics of my friendships?  Maybe that's part of my self-discovery lately - I haven't backed down and let go of any friendship because the man who will love me for ME, will not judge my other relationships or try to make any changes or fixes in my life. 

And you know what?  If having a bunch of guy friends and no true love right now is what is meant for me,  then I guess I'm in a good position.  Because, I'm adored by my good guy friends and a feeling of self-worth, a boost of self-confidence, and a little "spoiling" every now and then, can come from more places than just romance and happily-ever-afters. 

So cheers to the WONDERFUL and AMAZING guy friends in my life that I couldn't live without!

Peace & Love
Bjj

Kent, Me, and Will Jones during my freshmen year at Alabama. (Spring/Summer 2006)