more.than.just.a.pretty.face

"I'm trying to find myself as a person, sometime's that's not easy to do. Millions of people live their entire lives without finding themselves. But it is something I must do" - Marilyn Monroe

Some people may look at the life and legacy of Marilyn Monroe, one of my favorite women in history, and think 'sex icon', or that she was too controversial to be a role-model, or she was responsible for the doom of the perfect American political family. To myself, she is someone who shaped history. She allowed us to be 'wild at heart'. She was a 'black sheep' in a white dress; and she was good at making trouble.

Marilyn Monroe was more than a pin-up, flirt, and blonde bombshell. She lived her life in search of finding herself. Born with the name Norma Jeane Mortenson, she was baptized with the name Norma Jeane Baker, and when America fell in love with her as an actress, her name was Marilyn Monore. To girls like me who still admire her legacy, decades after her 1962 death, she is simply 'Marilyn'.

She was American. She was divine. Her pin-ups were all over Army, Marine, and Air Force bases during the second World War. She was beautiful; round; real.

As a model, people couldn't get enough of her. People wanted more, and this hunger for more of this scandalous and sexy star propelled her acting career. She taught us 'How to Marry a Millionaire' and that 'Some Like it Hot'. Her popularity is one that is hard to match. Her glamour is timeless.

Most people know that my favorite cultural decade in American history is the bohemian, hippie culture. The free-spirited, wandering, experimental, and ruthless women who changed women across the nation from 'idealist' to to 'realist'. Where did this fear-less attitude come from? Sure, marijuana-filled joints and the infamous Acid Kool-Aid Tests. But, not all bohemians, feminist, and realist were part of the drug induced crowd. Some were mothers, some were Preacher's daughters, and some were sister's, girlfriends, and wives of a man in Army green. My respect for Marilyn Monroe is born amidst the recognition that she changed the face of the ideal American woman. Marilyn taught us that a woman in the 1950's didn't have to adorn aprons and 'ooh and ahh' over microwaves, Chevrolets, and 'Honey, I'm home' type husbands. She showed the nation and the world that a 1950's woman could bare her skin and that people could 'ooh and ahh' over her beauty or gasp at their own jealousy of such a trend-setter. She curled her hair, painted her lips, took risks in her fashion, and although she gave birth to the 'dumb blonde' persona, she was a genius in the mind of girls who were born to stand out. She set an example for all the women who wanted to be different, always looking for that 'Marilyn' attitude in order to not blend with the crowd.

But do most people know the story of such a timeless icon? She was more than just a pretty face, like most glamorous people are. She was a foster child; her mother being too mentally unstable to care for her. She was passed around from one family friend to the next, never really knowing who she was or given a chance to foresee what might she be like when she grew up. At age 16, she was to marry a man in order to avoid another foster family or orphanage.

The nation wept at the thought of Michael Jackson being robbed of a childhood. "That's what made him so damn weird," some would say. Just like we've witnessed with the recent loss of pop music's "King", Marilyn's post-humous reputation would be loved and admired or hated and wanted to be forgotten. However, you can't just forget a woman like Marilyn. She wasn't the Audrey Hepburn or Jackie O type. She was the mistress, not the wife. She was the pin-up, not the Sunday School teacher. Simply, Marilyn, was who she was.

Norma Jeane was a wife before some of us could master the skill of driving our first car. Yet she used her past to create her future, in which she wasn't weird or creepy, she was beautifully artistic and deviously loved.

She taught us that 'Gentlemen Prefer Blondes' and lived like a real-life Barbie. Her rendition of 'Diamonds Are A Girl's Best Friend' was associated with her. She married, separated, and divorced Joe DiMaggio then showed us all 'How To Be Very, Very Popular'.

Marilyn Monroe was what Elton John refers to as 'A Candle In The Wind' and the only other rendition to this song was an exchange in the lyrics appropriate for the death and funeral of Princess Diana. Marilyn was royalty in lingerie. She was a life in the spotlight. She herself changed the tune of the widely known 'Happy Birthday' song that every three-year old to 90 year-old knows by heart. We know when to sing it in normal tune, and how to sing it when a tool for seduction. She could make the President blush; she could make a white halter-top dress a must-have for four decades of young women; and she made wind blowing your hair and skirt up sexy rather than embarrassing.

She is more than just a sex icon, let me remind you. Sure, she could make a grown man's jaw drop or be responsible for a twelve-year old's first experience of puberty. But she is an Oscar and Golden Globe winner. She is a comparison for the other blondes who follow. And, she is inspiration for the women like me in search of themselves.

She is Los Angeles. Born in LA, died in LA. She set the mold for the California-girl. Her life can be told in the historic theatres that are still used in the West coast's favorite city.

Her ashes are laid to rest in The Corridor of Memories in Westwood Village Memorial Park Cemetary and the corridor to her left is owned by Hugh Hefner, where he will be laid to rest when the life of another sex icon, genius, and scandalous figure comes to an end. Talk about appropriate.

A woman who shaped history, defined beauty, and lives on nearly fifty years after her 'death by conspiracy'. She reminds me each time I read one of her flirtacious and ruthless quotes or see one of her iconic images that it's okay to not know who you are. If you were one of those girls who never settles for anything less than exciting or can't put a "type" to your look, personality, or attitude, then you're not a failure. She was a success. She made housewives envious. She was the lady in red, not the girl next door. She constantly changed her mind or made a frenzy wherever she went.

She was Norma Jeane to the traditional girl, but Marilyn Monroe - glitz and glam, sugar and spice - to the innovative girl that believes in finding yourself but having fun while you do it.

As I venture out into the wide-unknown each day, I take a little bit of the women who shaped history for me. The ones I know, the ones I only know of reading about. I know I haven't 'found myself' but I'll be damned if I'm one of the millions who never do. So, in my opinion, learning a few lessons from the words a girl like Marilyn left behind, I do believe I'll find myself one day - and I'll give credit to the people who helped.

"I don't want to make money, I just want to be wonderful."

"I don't mind living in a man's world, as long as I can be a woman in it."

"If I'd observed all the rules, I'd never gotten anywhere."

"I am trying to prove to myself that I am a person."

"It's better to be happy alone than unhappy with someone."

"It's better for the whole world to know you, even as a sex star, than to never be known at all."

"If you can't handle me at my worst, then you sure as hell don't deserve me at my best."